How Jennifer got her groove back...

Hehe.  That's what I kept thinking for a title post.

I have not been on the scale since my recommitment to my health.  And honestly I am really enjoying it.  I am feeling accomplished just by logging my food into my Lose It app.  Some days I am above goal, some days below.  Isnt that that MODERATION?  Could it be?  I found the sweet spot?  I am not going to say it has been a piece of cake though.  Every meal is a thought process.  Shoot...everything I put in my mouth, or choose not to, is a thought process.  But that's okay. Because at the end of the day I am usually satisfied.  If I want cake, I have it.  If I want pizza, I have it.  And the app makes it pretty easy.  Every once in a while I find something that isn't in there and I have to manually log it in, or guess, but for the most part I seem to have it down.  The other day I wanted ice cream.  In the past I would have thought, "no, I cant.  I am on a diet". Or even worse, I would get a huge cone or sundae with all the fixins and then use that as an excuse to get off track and somehow stay off track for an indefinite amount of time.   I actually made myself have some the other day because this is NOT a diet.  I had something to prove to myself.   I ate it, logged it, and it was yummy.  There was no guilt.

But back to the scale thing....  I have decided not to weigh in for the time being because I know my body and it will take a good 20 + lbs before I even start feeling or seeing a difference in myself or my clothes.  That's a struggle I have always had and it makes it hard to stay focused.  So with no set weigh day and a goal of how much to eat a day I am somehow finding it feels good.  At least at this stage of the game.  I am sure when I DO feel or see a difference I will want to get on the scale and see how its going.  But for now I am just taking it day by day and if I had a day of lots of calories I can make up for it over the next few days.  I have so much work to re-do and I don't want the numbers messing with me.

I went for a jog a few times this week.  Today I did a full mile.  It felt good.  I forgot how I love to sweat when I am running because it makes me feel productive. It was humid. Am I getting back into it?  Could be!  I even made a new playlist for when I run.  This is a MUST for me when it comes to running. I  know lots of people who don't like music when they run.  They say "the quiet helps them clear their head".  Not me.  I NEED music.  Upbeat, peppy music that keeps me moving. 

I would like to say I am experiencing a blast from the past.  But really its fragments from the past.  Baby steps.  hehe.  Its running a mile, not training for a half marathon!  But it feels great!  Without the scale I just have to keep the faith that what I am doing is good.

I AM LIVING "MODERATION"....

Today's reason for losing weight:
*Every day it is struggle to get dressed.  There are so few options for me at this weight.  I am not happy with how anything looks on me, and I refuse to buy more "big girl" clothes when I have a perfectly gorgeous wardrobe in my closet just waiting for me...in lots sizes smaller than I am now. I am wearing the same things again and again and yet not happy with them. I cant wait to enjoy shopping again!

Today I am thankful for:
*I got to have a foster dog at my house for a few hours.  My friend runs a dog rescue, and I love to help in any way I can.  He loved it here!  We filled up the plastic kiddie pool and he loved it!  Labs do love the water!   He sucked up all the lovin we were giving :) I was sad to bring him back.  He barks a lot in the dog pen, but once he was out he was so laid back and just hung out in the yard with us.  I have two dogs already.  One who he played with, the other who doesn't like other dogs much.  Otherwise, I would totally want to keep this sweet boy!