Thursday, January 26, 2012

Get a grip


I just cannot seem to get a grip.  I have undone so much of my hard work which makes it that much harder to get back on track.  I am so disappointed in myself and that doesnt help either!   I have been very honest throughout this entire journey and that isnt going to change.  I know that I will get back into my groove.  I keep trying and somehow fail day after day.  And its such a reminder of the old Jen.  Then I feel even worse that I am headed back the direction and cant seem to get a grip!!!! 

I talked with the hubs today who has not been off track.  He has been been stayed on track despite my train wreck.  I told him maybe I dont need the pressure of being on one specific plan.  Maybe I just need to eat well and exercise.  That sounds so simple right?  Right...until I get cravings and hungry.  Thats the point where all heck breaks loose with me.  When I was doing body for life it was the first time ever in life that I didnt have cravings.  If I had hunger it was a growling belly yet no irresistible cravings.  And for me thats just what cravings are for me.  Irresistible. 

Soooo.....

Knowing this, and knowing me maybe the best thing is to pick back up on Body for Life.  I really enjoyed the weight lifting and I was starting to see some results in my muscles.  But maybe instead of signing myself up for the intensity of being on plan 100%, I can use it more as a guide instead of as a rigid plan.  I can still have a free day or maybe even two some weeks.  But the rest of the time I can eat the things that fend off the cravings and hunger because that seems to be where my issue lies. 

Does anyone have any thoughts? 

Oh, and although I havent stepped on the scale I am certain that I back up over the 200 lb mark....which is like 40 lbs more than lowest and 30 lbs less than my highest.  This is not a happy place for my body.  Its angry actually.  Heartburn, sluggish, grumpy, low self esteem...all the things I swore I wold never go back to! I walked past a mirror the other day and couldnt believe what I saw.  I remember saying this very same thing after losing the weight!!

But even so, I do know for sure that I will get back down to where I want to be. Or at least close.  Because it felt too good.  Its mind over matter.  I just need to get into the right place to make that change.

12 comments:

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

I hope you can find a plan you love soon! Good luck.

TerriP said...

I hear how frustrating and disappointing it is to be at this point with your weight. Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. You can do this. Good luck.

Debsdailylife said...

Start remembering the "Why I want to lose weight" reaspns that you listed on your blog. Youre inspiration is in there!
It takes less work to be off plan than it does to be on plan, I think thats why we like to stay theere.

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Exercise and diet is compulsory for good health and better fitness. It make effective stamina and make happiness in life.

Kelliann said...

I *know* where you are at right now. You are what I call "down the mountain".
When I am working my plan and exercise, I feel like I'm on top of the world (or, mountain) then, when I have a challenge (cravings) I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I can let go, and fall. Or I can hold strong and maintain my balance. If I let go and fall (and this is JUST ME)it feels 100x harder to climb back up my mountain. Much harder than holding out and keeping my balance - even though that feels sometimes almost impossible.
I say this because you sound like you are at the base of your mountain. Whatever you think is going to help you feel on top again, is what you have to do. I remember reading how fabulous you felt when you were really working "Body For Life". Do you think you will feel just as fabulous if you don't do it 100%? You might! You might not! But the only way you will know is to go for it. Get up that mountain, and maintain your balance! YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT.
Believe in YOURSELF.

jamie@sweatyhugs said...

I think it's important to figure out what it is what works for you and makes you happiest. If BFL helped rid you of cravings, then def. go back.

I think a key component is to maybe try and beat the hunger/cravings. Eat more often, smaller meals, and eat every few hours. That way the hunger won't hit you...you will be ahead of it.

You CAN do this!!!

foodfamilyfitness.com said...

If doing Body For Life was reducing the cravings, then go back to it! No one says you have to do it forever, but maybe it will get you back on track.

Jen@FoodFamilyFitness

Kelly said...

Oh Jennifer - I really hope that you're able to get back on track soon. It's no fun when you are struggling. I know the feeling - it's horrible.

Desert Singer said...

Hey Jennifer. I wish I had some awesome and inspiring advice or experience to share. Just Hang On. Don't Give Up. Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Give Up. (a la Winston Churchill...) Do something. even if if it is just emptying the garbage or cleaning a toilet or loading the dishwasher... any little action will help you feel that feeling of accomplishment ♥

You Can Do Anything.

Kimberlynn said...

Hey Jennifer...I can relate to everything you're going through. I've been in a hard place too feeling lost and questioning what in the heck happened?!?

I don't have any answers because I'm still trying to pull myself out of this pit, but I will say this. Don't give up...do something...anything. What can you do to be good to yourself today? I don't know about you, but the best way I know to get back in touch with myself and my goals is to take some time out for myself...alone. I just want to encourage you to do whatever it takes!!!

Be blessed...and take a big hug from me!

Joy said...

Hard place to be in for sure, but you will be back on track soon. I believe in you!! Just do all you know to do each day and don't ever give up! You can do this!!

Keep focused!