Thursday, January 26, 2012
Get a grip
I just cannot seem to get a grip. I have undone so much of my hard work which makes it that much harder to get back on track. I am so disappointed in myself and that doesnt help either! I have been very honest throughout this entire journey and that isnt going to change. I know that I will get back into my groove. I keep trying and somehow fail day after day. And its such a reminder of the old Jen. Then I feel even worse that I am headed back the direction and cant seem to get a grip!!!!
I talked with the hubs today who has not been off track. He has been been stayed on track despite my train wreck. I told him maybe I dont need the pressure of being on one specific plan. Maybe I just need to eat well and exercise. That sounds so simple right? Right...until I get cravings and hungry. Thats the point where all heck breaks loose with me. When I was doing body for life it was the first time ever in life that I didnt have cravings. If I had hunger it was a growling belly yet no irresistible cravings. And for me thats just what cravings are for me. Irresistible.
Knowing this, and knowing me maybe the best thing is to pick back up on Body for Life. I really enjoyed the weight lifting and I was starting to see some results in my muscles. But maybe instead of signing myself up for the intensity of being on plan 100%, I can use it more as a guide instead of as a rigid plan. I can still have a free day or maybe even two some weeks. But the rest of the time I can eat the things that fend off the cravings and hunger because that seems to be where my issue lies.
Does anyone have any thoughts?
Oh, and although I havent stepped on the scale I am certain that I back up over the 200 lb mark....which is like 40 lbs more than lowest and 30 lbs less than my highest. This is not a happy place for my body. Its angry actually. Heartburn, sluggish, grumpy, low self esteem...all the things I swore I wold never go back to! I walked past a mirror the other day and couldnt believe what I saw. I remember saying this very same thing after losing the weight!!
But even so, I do know for sure that I will get back down to where I want to be. Or at least close. Because it felt too good. Its mind over matter. I just need to get into the right place to make that change.
Posted by Jennifer at 7:59 PM