Sunday, February 19, 2012

Back again

Yes, I am still here.   And no, it hasnt been pretty.  But kind of like cleaning, I was waiting and hoping for that *feeling* to come over me to get back on my weight loss kick.  It had been almost two years that I was focusing so intently on my weight.  And I dont know what happened that I got off track but I did.  Despite the shame and embarassment and unhappiness I have not been able to get it together.  Maybe I got tired of the everyday struggle.  Regardless of the excuses I can come up with I knew it was only a matter or time before I had enough.  It was only a matter of time before my priorities straightened out.  And its odd how sometimes as much as I know whats right I just cant get back on track until something clicks. 

I am so glad it did. 

Last night I put the girls to bed and sat down for some TV.  I was watching the show "HEAVY". Ever see it?  Its on Netflix.   I watched a few episodes and then at the end of one a large-ish man who had lost a ton of weight but was still bigger honored himself by running as many minutes as pounds that he had lost.  180 minutes he ran.  Thats three hours!  It sparked something in me.  I cant explain it.  It inspired me and reminded me how 4 short months ago I ran a half marathon.  And it made me want to run another. I had an excitement in me I havent felt in a while. 

I know I will have to start back at square one.  I am not concerned about that.  But what I AM really concerned about is that my left knee has really been hurting me.  I am hoping its just my body being angry at all the extra weight and lack of activity.  I have some sort of unspecified arthritis condition and I am hoping that running will only help my knee.  It never bothered me until the past month or so.  I am hoping I didnt injure it when I was lifting weights doing Body for Life. 

So fingers crossed. I would be so sad if I couldnt train for another half.  And the thought of going to the dr and jumping through their ridiculous hoops if it is an injury is not something I look forward to. 

As for my eating...  I have decided that tonight after I put the girls to bed I am going to go through my old blog posts and remind myself of what works well for me.  I have been so confused and overwhelmed with how to eat.  Lots of water, more protein, etc.  I think I will combine the plans I have done over the years and create one that is tailored for me. 

For those of you who have been following for a long time and are familiar with my journey, I would love to be "reminded" of things that you think worked and any opinions you might have. 

Thank you!!!


Enz said...

It is good to have you back. Hugs!!
I think what worked for you was when you were running regularly, you fuelled your body so it could run well and better.

Joy said...

So happy you are back!! I know you will be back in your game fast!! You can do this.

Keep focused!!

diet clinics said...

Go walking in any popular park where people enjoy exercising and you'll find fit people working out with a personal trainer.

Kimberlynn said...

I'm so glad you popped up on my blog roll this morning! I've been dealing with the same thing, and couldn't seem to get that "feeling" that would kick start me again. I decided to ignore my feelings and start where I was at. Each day I did something that would move me in the right direction, and my feelings finally caught up with me.

You're on the right track. If running is what excites you than start there. We have to do whatever it takes to be inspired and motivated!

Sarah from Onmyweightohappiness said...

Glad to see you back. If you are having issues with certain foods triggering you get them out of your house and keep them out no matter what. I realize even 20 months into my journey I still can not be trusted with my trigger foods in my house, while sometimes I feel bad about it because my son & husband can't have them in our house, really I'm doing us all a favor, none of us need those foods. Instead I keep fresh fruit & veggies stocked in our house and only healthy snacks. They trigger foods aren't in my house so if I do want to snack or "binge" I do on fruit and veggies. Another thing that has helped me with the "snacking" issue is low sodium sunflower seeds, I started using them when I quit smoking a month ago but I've also been using them when I have the urge to snack or eat when I am not suppose to, I have a set "timed" eating schedule and stick to it, if its not "time" for me to eat I reach for the sunflower seeds, keeps my mouth and hands busy for ahwhile, while it is "eating" technically it's a good source of snack, low cal, good proteins and low sodium.
You can do this, figure out what drove you before to lose the weight. It's hard because I have lost my motivations too lately cuz I am essentially at goal weight, but I had to remind myself just cuz Im at goal doesn't give me the right to slack, I slack I gain and I refuse to go backwards.

dawne said...

So once again, we are at the same place at the same about we make it that we're losing it all for good this time!?!?!? Can we agree that's where we want to be my journey twin? :)

spunkysuzi said...

So good to see you back!!

Kelly said...

Jennifer!!! Yay - you're back! Now, let's see about getting back on track, k? I missed you, doll!

Debsdailylife said...

YES!!! Im so glad youre back!!! I never know if Im being pushy when I send a message, or... ANYWAY!!! There are quite a few virtual races on my sidebar... IM working thru the Body for Life that you used a while back. Im still in the reading..(and its taking me SO LONG!!!). not the doing... altho Im doing my own thing. Hope your knee feels better!! Take it slow and easy!! Ibuprofen or another antiinflamatory med.. GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK!!

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