Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Support and Dinner (Jennifer)

I would like to thank those of you who commented on yesterdays post.  In my head I thought people may look down on my choice to revisit Medifast.  Because part of me feels like a failure for not succeeding at weight loss/maintaining in the *real world*.  The support on here is just amazing.  I know so many of you who have succeeded at weight loss, especially Margene who is also doing Medifast.  This woman is a huge inspiration to me.  Thank you Margene.

Like I said, I didnt make this decision lightly.  I thought about it for a while and tossed the pros/cons around in my head.  And like one commenter said, I did need to do something before I gained any further weight back.  Last night my hubby and I were chatting and he said he knows how tough the program is for me (I have some food but they are definately not my favorite Medifast foods) and he is proud of me.  That means a lot coming from him.

The same day I went and picked up my food I also went to dinner with my friend Karen.  We are both stay at home moms and like to go to dinner once every few weeks or so.  It is always a great time.  We were talking away while sitting at Ruby Tuesdays and the hostess came and sat a man and a woman near us.  I dont even remember what we were talking about but my attention was totally stolen by the couple.  They sat in the booth, well attempted, and in my opinion made a little scene.  The woman was obviously larger than the man.  I dont think he even had a weight issue if I remember correctly.  She sat at the booth and so did he and then began talking loudly to each other..."Do you fit? "   "Barely!". "OMG"  They seemed to be chuckling and joking about the situation.  Then they started trying to adjust the table to fit them better.  Its a booth so there isnt much room for adjustment.  They were literally tugging and pulling on the table and the stuff on it bouncing all around making even more of a scene.  The look on my face must have been priceless because Karen, who didnt see any of this, was laughing at me. 

The moral of this story:   the guy didnt seem to be overweight yet he was was sympathizing with her by also complaining like it was the worlds smallest table they were sitting at.  My guess was that this was to make her feel better.  But the truth is that she was overweight and didnt fit in the booth.  They immediately got up and moved.  When the waiter (a different one) brought the food out he went to their old table.  They joked and laughed about how they were trying to trick him.  And through all this light hearted joking and laughter I knew that at some level this woman HAD to feel embarassment and hurt.  I used to be there, although I tried my hardest not to make a scene and draw more attention to myself.  This all reminded me of why this journey is so important to me.  And, I told Karen that this would definately be a blog topic.  There were things almost every day that reminded me of my obesity and getting though each carried its own shame and embarrassment.  I never want to go back to that place in my mind where everything I did made me think of my weight.

Today is my appt with the new ENT surgeon.  Fingers crossed.

10 comments:

jennifer said...

Good luck with your dr appt. I hope you get some resolutions soon! About your decision to go back on Medifast. I think that it proves how far you've come that you are able to look at the situation realistically and take the necessary steps in order to correct it. I don't know about you, but the reason that I am overweight to begin with is that I always rationalized away any weight gain that I was experiencing, because I didn't want to deal with it. So I would shut my eyes and open my mouth (for food), and 5 pounds would turn into 10 pounds...then 20..and so on. IF ONLY I had been able to just be a grown up when I first noticed I was growing out of my clothes!! It would have never gotten this bad. So, GOOD JOB!!! I think you made the decision that a naturally thin person would have made. It's not that they never overeat or gain weight, they just have the sense to stop it before it gets too far. Good luck!!

Karen said...

So I was laughing out loud when you mentioned the part of the look on your face. That was priceless. And like you said, at some point that woman had to feel embarrassed, even if it was only a little. Their "joking" was probably a way to coverup the hurt.

Oh and yes, dinner was great, as usual.

Good luck at your ENT appointment. The kiddos and I are going to have FUN!

Bringing Pretty Back said...

Jennifer, That whole booth scene must have been somethin'! THAT my friend is why I went t the gym this morning at 6:00 a.m.!
Hey! Medifast.. what ever you need to do for yourself is what you need to do!
Good luck with dr. appt. keep us posted.
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

ihearteggs said...

I think if medifast is for you, then you should do it!

Good luck with the dr apt!

I feel you on the booth situation... my dad actually has the same issue as the woman and while he jokes about it you can see it in his eyes when they bring us to a booth... it just breaks my heart.

Lesia said...

Don't you just love the blog world and all the support it offers us? Good luck at the dr. Will be watching for an update. smile.

Polar's Mom said...

Fingers crossed for your doc appt...

That is true-I would think that anytime that someone cannot do something that others take for granted-like fitting into a booth-they would feel demeaned in some way. Even if it is just frustration with the booth...
BTW-I'm sorry your awesome deal included the soups-I am NOT a fan of them either!

Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I hope your appointment went well!!
Oh, how I relate to your experience watching that couple in the restaurant. That used to be me! EVERYTHING in my life revolved around what I could or couldn't do because of being obese. It's no way to live. It's more about survival.

I appreciate you mentioning me as an inspiration, that is really touching to me. You have had some big struggles and I have learned so much from you and how you handle things.

I wish you the best in starting Medifast again... and when you do come off, maybe follow that slow transition and then maintenance plan. Follow the system set up and you will have success. I KNOW you can do it and that we BOTH can maintain our healthy weight. I am excited to be a runner and athlete this year - like you are girl!! You are amazing and have done amazing things.

And what's this about you and Polar's Mom not liking the soups? I LOVE the soups! I have at least one each day. I add a little sea salt and freshly ground pepper to most, and sometimes nibble on the Medifast crackers and wedge of light laughing cow cheese when I eat them - so good.

Good luck and God Bless!
~Margene

Jen said...

First, good luck with your appointment with the surgeon today, hopefully you will be feeling better very quickly!
I have felt that embarassment, and while I did try and make it go away with humor, all I really wanted to do was slip away into a hole!!!

Jen
http://www.jenslosinit.com/

Desert Singer said...

"I never want to go back to that place in my mind where everything I did made me think of my weight."

You SAID IT!! :-) Here's to THAT goal!!

Hope everything goes well at the Doc.

susmith said...

Jennifer Sue, I'm so happy to read that slipping and getting into bad habits again isn't going to happen to you like it does to soo many people. Keep up the good work, don't worry about all the bad eating choices of those around you this weekend,,just worry about what YOU are eating and your girls. Don't let them fall into the habit of choosing bad things off menus when there are plenty of tasty healthy things to eat on it too. Spread your eating habits to the girls, if they see you eating better they may just too! Keep up the good work!