Support and Dinner (Jennifer)

I would like to thank those of you who commented on yesterdays post.  In my head I thought people may look down on my choice to revisit Medifast.  Because part of me feels like a failure for not succeeding at weight loss/maintaining in the *real world*.  The support on here is just amazing.  I know so many of you who have succeeded at weight loss, especially Margene who is also doing Medifast.  This woman is a huge inspiration to me.  Thank you Margene.

Like I said, I didnt make this decision lightly.  I thought about it for a while and tossed the pros/cons around in my head.  And like one commenter said, I did need to do something before I gained any further weight back.  Last night my hubby and I were chatting and he said he knows how tough the program is for me (I have some food but they are definately not my favorite Medifast foods) and he is proud of me.  That means a lot coming from him.

The same day I went and picked up my food I also went to dinner with my friend Karen.  We are both stay at home moms and like to go to dinner once every few weeks or so.  It is always a great time.  We were talking away while sitting at Ruby Tuesdays and the hostess came and sat a man and a woman near us.  I dont even remember what we were talking about but my attention was totally stolen by the couple.  They sat in the booth, well attempted, and in my opinion made a little scene.  The woman was obviously larger than the man.  I dont think he even had a weight issue if I remember correctly.  She sat at the booth and so did he and then began talking loudly to each other..."Do you fit? "   "Barely!". "OMG"  They seemed to be chuckling and joking about the situation.  Then they started trying to adjust the table to fit them better.  Its a booth so there isnt much room for adjustment.  They were literally tugging and pulling on the table and the stuff on it bouncing all around making even more of a scene.  The look on my face must have been priceless because Karen, who didnt see any of this, was laughing at me. 

The moral of this story:   the guy didnt seem to be overweight yet he was was sympathizing with her by also complaining like it was the worlds smallest table they were sitting at.  My guess was that this was to make her feel better.  But the truth is that she was overweight and didnt fit in the booth.  They immediately got up and moved.  When the waiter (a different one) brought the food out he went to their old table.  They joked and laughed about how they were trying to trick him.  And through all this light hearted joking and laughter I knew that at some level this woman HAD to feel embarassment and hurt.  I used to be there, although I tried my hardest not to make a scene and draw more attention to myself.  This all reminded me of why this journey is so important to me.  And, I told Karen that this would definately be a blog topic.  There were things almost every day that reminded me of my obesity and getting though each carried its own shame and embarrassment.  I never want to go back to that place in my mind where everything I did made me think of my weight.

Today is my appt with the new ENT surgeon.  Fingers crossed.