Yesterday I was snacking on some yummy food. Not the best thing in the world but I am feeling pretty confident in myself(for a change!). I have no fear of going back to the old me. I may fluctuate some 5-10 lbs or so here or there but I feel pretty certain that I will never let myself back to 230 lbs, or anywhere close.
I love my mom. We are very close and I can tell her just about anything. It wasnt always like that...I was a teenager afterall.... But now that I am older, I thank God everyday for her. Yesterday, in her own way, she gently *warned* me about my eating. I know that she is genuinely concerned and doesnt want me to get back to the Old Jen with no confidence and less spunk. So, I took no offense to it at all. I came right out and told her what I just said...that I have no fear of gaining my weight back and going back to the Old me. I think its great that I get uncomfortable in my skin after just a few pounds gain. I told her I WANT to be active and happy and although I may allow myself to snack here and there that it is a choice I am making. I do not feel out of control.
I also told her how I cant wait to get back into running. Between not feeling well and the weather being so cold/ snowy here, running outside is not a possibility right now and hasnt been for a while now. She reminded me, still worried, that it will be months before I can run outside again. And she is right. But yet, I have no fear. It is certainly NOT cockiness by any means though. It did remind me that I can and should be taking the classes at the gym when I can. Its almost like I made myself a little mental block...."Run outside or dont exercise at all". What is that crap???
When I started running it surprised me. It really threw me for a loop. I thought for sure I would hate it. But that wasnt the case at all. Instead, I fell in love with it. I love how it makes me feel. I love how it gives me a few minutes to myself, I love how I feel accomplished when I am done, and I love of course how it burns calories. And since I *found* running I havent done much other exercise. I havent been to zumba, or workouts at the gym, or my weight training classes. Its kind of like I am in limbo just waiting for 40 degrees to come into the forecast so I can go for a decent run! The treadmill...oh how I wish I liked the treadmill more :(
But...I am working on it. This journey is still such a learning process for me.
Jennifer
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11 comments:
Wow - I could have written this post. I feel the exact way about exercise. I know you won't go back...we've come too far.
I know you how you feel! No way do I want to go back! It was too difficult of a journey to get here!
I know exactly how you feel!!! I just want to be out! I'm in such an indoor exercise slump : ( it's an everyday journey and you've come so far, you know what's best for your body!
Yes, unfortunately you need to find a running substitute for a few months-who knows you may like it equally as well and then have two fun options for exercise!!!
Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com
I know what you mean about hating the treadmill... cept I LOVE the treadmil bt HATE the Eliptical machine.... like HATE it. Can't stand more than 5 mins on the thing. Treadmil and I can walk for days.
Wow. Great post. You can do it!
During all of our snow, I have learned to appreciate the treadmill. Have you tried watching a favorite TV show or listening to good music while you do it?
J
Maybe you could think of the treadmill as a temporary solution for winter running and just run enough so that when you CAN get back outdoors, you will not be starting at square one again with your mileage? I'm so glad you are such a happy runner!
While you are running, run for me too. smile
Hey there is an award for you on my page...
Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com
You may not intend on getting back to Old Jen, but not exercising for a few months may make it easier to slip back into old habits. I believe in you :)
Jen
http://www.jenslosinit.com/
Jen, It's me mom, thank you for your compliment, I appreciate it. I'm glad you did not take our talk the wrong way, it was a heartfelt chit chat, and yes, I certainly did NOT help any with throwing a football party, but we all must let go and have some crunching fun. Well anyway, looking forward to hearing about your zumba classes again, hopefully I'll be back in it again soon. Keep up the fabulous work!
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