Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Normal (Jennifer)

My friend gave me the rest of her Medifast food which was very nice of her.  The only problem is that I didnt get it until Monday...and the inlaws came to stay with us this weekend.  Those of you who read regularly know that this is such a struggle for me.  I like when they come because I love to have company, but my MIL brings so much yummy, and definately healthy food with her...every single time  She is diabetic, yet doesnt seem to pay much attention to it :(    Anyway, the first day I did okay.  I stayed on plan and all was well even thoug I did struggle.  Day 2 came and I totally caved.  Now...I am the first to admit to my failures, but in this case I really have to say that a huge part of this was not having many MF foods that are appealing to me, or still in date for that matter. 

However, I got on the scale this morning and saw that I am still at 170.6.  Not my lowest but I didnt gain any of the weight I lost on MF for those few days :)   So, now I have some MF foods that I like and I am in debate about what to do with them.  I know I want to use them.  I am thinking that instead of doing the plan 100% that I might use them as my daily foods (about 500 calories or so) and then eat a nice dinner(not a restricted one as on plan) and also exercise.  I say this because yesterday I went to the gym and it was great.  I felt great all day.  So, I am thinking of doing a modified type plan.  Most of the foods I have I like so it wont be an issue there, and I dont see any harm in eating them, regardless of whether I am on any plan, because they are so packed with vitamins and minerals. 

While thinking about this today I had a comforting feeling come over me.  I felt like I am capable of eating well and that I am at no risk of going back to the Old Jen and the old eating habits.  It was very comforting to feel that.   Plus, my husband said something last week to me while I was in debate whether I should continue MF.  He said that I have come so far and that I can eat the way I want to within reason and if I exercise it will be okay.  I can indulge here and there while still making good eating choices most of the time. Exercise is the key he said.  And he is right.  That has been the missing variable for so many years.  Although I may have struggled over the past few months when I step back and look at the big picture I see that I have been living life and really havent done too bad!  Normal peoples weight fluctuates a few pounds.  Normal people indulge a little during the holidays.  Normal people can indulge and then eat well again for the next meal.  Maybe I have become normal?  Could it be?  What wasnt normal was the Old Jen who indulged every single day of life at every single meal.  Wow...this is pretty eye opening for me.

Still not feeling great...going to start all the meds the dr gave me(5) tomorrow-including more steroids. I am praying that something works and we can get this figured out.  Thanks to you all for your kind comments along the way.  It really means the world to me.


Karen said...

I like your idea of modifying MF. I think that will work for you. I really wanted to go back on MF but now that we decided to try for another baby, I guess it'll have to wait. But at least I will have the food there for when I am ready to go back...which I will! Good Luck. You always have my support in whatever you do....but you know that! Go Jen Go!

dawne said...

Normal is such a beautiful place to be! We really do seem to be almost at the exact place in our loss...so now, let's get it done! Goal, here we come!!!

Polar's Mom said...

When do you feel weakest as far as willpower? At night, in the afternoon, etc? The reason I ask is if it is toughest for you at night, then you might want to save a Medi-meal for then and eat your normal meal for lunch. But I totally think you can do well if you do that and exercise. I commend your proactive approach, making good decisions, and getting things done today! Good girl! No moss gathering under you!

Polar's Mom

Bethanny said...

That temptation sounds stressful!! Good luck with your mf.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I think we do have to work with ourselves and what our goals are. It's so easy to compare with others and feel that we're not doing enough or getting to where they are. But we're not competing with anyone... we're just trying to become a better healthier person. It's a journey of discovery. I like how you talk about what's normal... like when you were heavier, you didn't feel normal. I can relate to that!

You do what you feel is right for YOU Jen... what helps Jen take care of herself so that she can take care of her family. We are here to cheer and support you on that journey. We are not here to compare ourselves with each other or to critique but to accept, encourage and support.

I sure hope you get feeling better soon. That's cool that you enjoyed some work out time and remember that you are still the New Jen and not the Old Jen. :)

God Bless

Jessica said...

I think your modified version is great! Hope you keep feeling better ;)

Jessica said...

I think your modified version is great! Hope you keep feeling better ;)

Jen said...

I am so happy you are in a *normal* state of mind right now, it gives me hope!