Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Frustrated-Calling all runners (for help please)

I am in the midst of trying to figure some things out.  I have been running like what seems like a madwoman.  Over the winter months I was not doing much exercise.  I was not watching what I was eating either.  Actually, I was eating a lot of fast food :(  There was not much calorie counting either.  Yet, I was hanging out somewhere in the 160's wearing comfy size 12's all winter. 

This summer I start the half marathon training feeling like I am doing so awesome.  It feels great to accomplish every single run I do.  I have been running for months now, on a very rigid schedule even.  My mileage increases almost every week with an exception of vacation week.  Yet, my pants are tight.  Not just a little tight but tight like there are some I cant even wear anymore.  My boobs are getting bigger(this is not needed).  My shirts are tight.  All my clothes are small.  This is not muscle.  They are so tight I am avoiding the scale all together at this point.

What is going on??  A few weeks ago I ran 27 miles that week.  This week I am at 18 miles already and its only Wednesday.  Yet I feel disgusting...at least my body feels disgusting.  I feel fat and flubbery and my roll is hanging over the top of my pants (well if I want to zip and button them anyway!).  It just doesnt seem fair.  I am past the whole pity party part of this frustration and now I am just trying to figure it out.  Am I eating too much? Allowing myself to eat more than I should because I think I should be able to for all the exercise I have been doing?  Am I eating the wrong things? Too many carbs?  I burned 911 calories on todays run alone.  I am running 4x a week or so.

I just dont know.  Why over the winter could I eat crappy AND not exercise and still not gain much?  Yet here I am working my tail off and not only am I not losing but CLEARLY I am gaining.  Last night was the first night I got so mad about it that I caved.  I was at dinner with my friend Karen.  They didnt have the soup that I planned to order.  So I got my phone out and I was researching calories for other things.  Then all of a sudden I got mad and said why bother?  I ordered (get this)... an appetizer, a full meal, oh...and then dessert.  In which I ate ALL of everything.  What was I trying to prove?  I havent done that in ages.  But if I am going to gain weight I may as well deserve it I thought.  I know that it was not a rational thought but I was mad.  And after that I felt terrible.  Like the old cycle I used to be in.  I used to eat like that day after day when I was much larger. 

This morning I got up and ran 7 miles with my friend Laura and it felt great.  I ate very well today and feel I am on track.  But other than my lashing out dinner incident last night I have been feeling pretty on track for a long time now.  So, I think the only option for me at this point is to write down every single thing I eat and evaluate from there.  So thats what I will do I guess.  It just makes me mad that even with so much effort with running that I still cant get ahead of this weight thing.

I would love to hear any thoughts or opinions that any of you might have.

6 comments:

Shelley said...

I can imagine your frustration. Keeping a food log for a week, writing down EVERYTHING (even GU) ingested, will give you insight. Unfortunately, you probably are outeating your exercise - it's a common thing. And hard, because sometimes with long runs, you ARE extra hungry! Maybe you're going to have to keep extra veggies on hand to munch on? I know, it doesn't sound very fun. But hey - you are doing awesome with your running, so there's that! :)

Kelly said...

Hmmm. I'm not a runner, but maybe you should include more protein in your diet. Also, start strength training with weights if you haven't already. Strength training is so important.
P.S. I coulda sworn I commented on your 10K post, but apparently I didn't! I'm sorry, so I left you a comment. Luv ya!

Karen said...

I felt bad listening to you at dinner the other night. I could not only see your frustraton but I could hear it in your voice. In my own way, I kind of know how you feel...with the frustration part. No matter what I do, I can't lose weight. I've been told it's because I don't eat enough but that just doesn't make sense. I mean I understand what "they" say but it's silly. You would think that I would have no problem losing weight based on my eating habits and exercising. I exercise more that I eat but nothing. So I'm starting to wonder....is it possible that some people just can't lose weight? Probably not but I'd like to think that sometimes. Jen, as you know I'm hear to listen. If you want to call and scream....go ahead. I'm here!

Becca said...

Thanks for your encouraging words...I totally didn't realize you had done medifast, I was just inspired by your running and determination. I am now going to start from the beginning of your blog forward. You are even more of an inspiration for me now! Yay!!

Kristen said...

track your food for a few days - calories, carbs, fat and protein. Maybe you can identify some changes. My trainer really pushing having 1 gram of protein for your ideal weight if you are trying to lose or your current weight if you are maintaining. We rotate our carbs - day one high but not over 1 gram per pound. the next day we lower our carbs - i try to limit breads and pastas to 2 meals. Day 3 is "no carb" so no bread, fruit or pasta. Then we start all over again. not sure if that helps you. But you are kicking butt with the running so forget the scale!

Heidi said...

For me it's all about diet. I exercise ... alot, but lately I have not been eating well and the scale will not move down, and often moves up. Track your calories, and EVERY bite and be sure you're not ingesting more than you need. It can be challenging when you're exercising a lot because your body is stressed and it's VERY easy to get the mentality of 'well, I just ran 10 miles so it's OK if I have a few cookies'. Sadly the calories in seem to add up WAY faster than the calories out. I also find that I can get away with bad eating for a little while and then suddenly it will pounce on me and the lbs add up quickly! It's like I'm getting away with it, then when I decide to clean up my act payback hits. It seems cruel because as I begin more exercise I gain weight, but it's just sort of a delayed reaction to my stint of bad eating.