Saturday, August 6, 2011

Two sides of the coin

Today I was talking with one of my friends.  I dont know her all that well but we get together with our kids to hang out.  She ran one of the local 15K races last month (9.3 miles) and I was asking her about it.  I am pretty sure it was her first.  Her response was an unenthusiastic "10 minute miles, same old, just what I expected".   Like it was effortless for her.  Like training and finishing (quickly in my opinion) was no biggie.  She finished in an hour an a halfish...with lots of hills.

Well this got me thinking (uht oh right?)....

On one side of the coin I am sooooo proud of me for running and setting these goals for myself.  I am excited to inspire others which I am told I am doing.  I am happy that I ran seven miles yesterday and wasnt gasping for breath.  It feels amazing for me to accomplish something that I never thought I could (or would) ever do.  And when I complete my first 10K and my first half marathon it will be with such excitement and pride!

But(you knew this was coming)....on the other side of the coin I cant help but feel not good enough.  My pace is much slower than hers.  It is and effort for me.  Its an effort to keep up with my training schedule. And, I am running and running and the weight is going up.  My clothes are tighter.  Why bother?  I am feeling below mediocre.  A little pity party started creeping up.

So I stomped it out with these thoughts below. Let me know what you think...

A.  I AM RUNNING....and the fact that I can even write that is a miracle for me!  I AM RUNNING!  Why do I need to be so hard on myself?

B.  She is probably almost a foot taller than me.  She also doesnt have large boobs and a FUPA from having two children surgically removed .  So she is probably capable of running much faster than me.

C. I am training to complete a half marathon.  And thats what its all about, right?  FINISHING it, regardless of time.  Again, why do I have to let the "not good enough" in?

D.  So I have put on some weight while training.  Although I still dont understand it or agree with the 20 lb quick gain...I saw it, I hated it, and I am doing my best to fix it.  I am choosing what I eat very carefully and making healthy choices all around.

E.  Did I mention that I am RUNNING?!!!!  Regularly.  I am running 20ish miles a week at this point.  I never dreamed I would ever do such a thing.  And while I feel like I should be able to eat whatever I want in return for my efforts, I am not.  I have committed myself to making lots of good EFFORTS!.  Thats what its all about right?

So there.  I will have to revisit this post when the pity party creeps in.  I hate pity parties. 


Becca said...

This friend is also someone who has probably never had a weight problem, can eat anything she wants and not gain a lb, and maybe has been running a really long time.

You are doing awesome! Yes you gained some weight, but your body is changing, maybe gaining some muscle, adjusting to what you are doing to it with the running.

You may never be as fast as her, or someone else, but you need to not worry about that and find a time that is right for you, that you are happy with and can manage at.

Keep up the good work! We all are allowed to have a pity party once in a while!

Jessica said...

You are doing awesome! Keep up the good work! Everyone is proud of your accomplishments!

Sugar dreams said...

You are doing such a great job so don't let anyone elses results let you know. With running it's simple; you might not run as fast as say a marathon runner but it's not about the speed it's about the effort.. You will most certainly have the same (if not more) effort as that girl. If it's all that easy to her, it will not get her as much benefits as it is getting you.
And there will always be people that are better, faster and slimmer. And as Becca is saying; you are making lifestyle changes and yes, girl you are RUNNING!! So keep up the good work! You're doing great!

Jessica said...

It is ssssooo hard not to compare ourselves to others ~ but we CAN'T! We're doing what we're doing and even though your miles aren't as fast as hers, I bet your miles are faster than they WERE, right? When it comes to running, you are running against yourself, no one else!
As far as the weight gain ~ when you train for long distance races, your goal is to make your body more efficient at doing the same thing over and over again (ie, running), but definition ~ more efficient means to do the same activitiy, using less fuel (or, burning fewer calories). So, even though it stands to reason that you are burning mad calories, in essence, each run burns fewer and fewer. It's actually very common to gain a little weight/fat while training for endurance races.
Here is an amazing article that explains it much better than I can:
I'd recommend adding in some weight training into your routine. It raises your metabolism and continues burning calories long after your workout is done.... :)

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

You are running... I mean, that is incredible to someone like me! It's taken me over 20 years to be able to run!!! That's a long time. It really is about doing what is YOUR best. Don't fall into that comparing trap because it does warp your perspective and it's not a correct perspective simply because we do not have God's view point. We are here to better ourselves not better each other. And as women, we struggle with that because we beat ourselves up so easily! I love your reasons you stated to remind yourself. You are running. You are working on your eating. You are taking care of yourself. That is what God would want you to do. He would want you to be gentle with yourself and realize your worth and value to Him... then let THAT inspire you to be your best self!

God Bless...

MB said...

It's time to leave that pity party. Focus on all the amazing things you are doing now. Rock on!

Karen said...

Keep up the good work! You said it yourself....YOU ARE RUNNING!! You are doing something you said you would NEVER do and are! Keep it up! Good work!