Sunday, September 4, 2011

Enough is Enough

Yup.  The title says just how I feel tonight.  I have been teetering for weeks now between feeling guilty for not eating "perfectly" and feeling bad for myself because I have been running my tookis off and not losing weight.  I did all this research about how some people gain 15 lbs or so when they are training for a half/full marathon, and when they stop training the weight goes back off.  So for a few days thats what I told myself.  It had to be that because otherwise it didnt make sense.  Its been super frustrating for me. 

But today I saw things clearly.  I ate like crap.  I have been for a while now.  I can no longer kid myself.  Yes, it could be worse like it used to be.  But regardless, I have been making bad calorie choices for sure.  Today the results spoke loud and clear to me (and then smacked me in the face).  I put on a tshirt I have been wearing all summer and it felt like it was two sizes too small.  Ooooohhhh....It hurt.  Its probably the worst I have felt in this journey.  It was the reality of what is going on here staring me right in the face.  My pants have been snuggish for a while now.  But this was beyond snuggish.  This was like I didnt even TRY to put on a pair of pants because I knew they wouldnt zip...if I could even get them over my hips.  My boobs are busting out of my bra in a sloppy way.  The weight is piling on quick.  I have seen this before back when I was obese.

Enough Is Enough.

Aint gonna happen.  I emailed my gym asking what the current rates are.  My membership just ended (much of it wasted...but I digress...) and I need to get back in there.  My body felt good when I was counting calories and toning up.  The summer is about over and there is a routine in the horizon.  I just told my mom today that I am looking forward to the fall because for some reason I can always get my weight in check in the fall.  I dont know what it is.  Less of the summer crappy foods and parties?  The cooler weather? 

Enough of the pity party, and enough of the excuses.  Enough of the constant indulgences, and enough of this "I can eat this because I ran today" mindset.  My weight affects so many aspects of who I am.  It overflows into all parts of my life.  The buck stops here.  My eyes are wide open.  I clearly see this self-sabotage.  Enough Is Enough.  I am going to do this once and for all...

9 comments:

faithfulgyrl said...

Enough is enough. :) Wake up tomorrow and start all over. Act like you are just starting out. That seems to be when we do the best. I think we just get kind of tired sometimes of counting and counting. But the way we feel when we don't count, when we don't watch what we eat proves how important it is. I gained 8 lbs in 3 weeks a few weeks ago and when I realized I really felt like crap, I decided it was time to start over again. Just like you will do. And I feel so much better.

So, what are you going to do tomorrow? When you pick up something to eat, think first. If you do eat it, count it! I know you can do it. Look how far you've already come. We can't let ourselves go back to our old ways. Good luck! We are here to help you :)

Karen said...

I've been feeling the same way lately too. I just have no idea where to begin. I can count calories, exercise...the whole works and the weight doesn't go away. I say enough is enough but don't know where to go from here. I know you will make it through this. When you put your mind to something, you have the will power to do it. So may people lack that. Looking forward to hear how you do in the next few weeks.

Jessica said...

you can do it!

Kelly said...

So you have a plan and you know what you need to do. Right? You know what works for you, and you know how to lose weight. Now keep going, because I can't wait to see you at goal!

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you girl. I feel horrible when trying my clothes on. I work at school and have been off all summer. Going back tomorrow and I haven't tried my work clothes on because I will just be so depressed. I am looking forward to a new routine and getting this 20 pounds off so I feel better. No excuses I did it to myself with crappy food and little exericse. I know what I have to do so why haven't I just done it already? FRUSTRATED with myself.

Floriana said...

Stop it before it gets too bad. Nip it in the bud as they say. You are on the right track, though. Seeing it and admitting it to yourself is the necessary first step. Kudos to you for staying accountable. Good luck on the way out of the bad period :)

Shelley said...

I admire anyone who can honestly look at themselves and admit that yes, they HAVE been eating too much. That's hard! Now for the next step - action. That's hard, too. But you can do it. :)

Anonymous said...

So today is a new day. I am so very proud of you for being so brutally honest with yourself. It's not an easy thing to do. You know I will help you any way you need me to, even if it means that I have to tell you not to lick the frosting!

Anonymous said...

So today is a new day. I am so very proud of you for being so brutally honest with yourself. It's not an easy thing to do. You know I will help you any way you need me to, even if it means that I have to tell you not to lick the frosting!