Thursday, September 8, 2011

Some pics from the past...just what I needed.

I wish I could say that I got myself 100% on track and that I am no longer "flawed".  But this blog is about honesty and thats what you will get (like it or not).  Yesterday I did excellent to start out.  Even attempted a run with the hubs in the pouring rain.  I barely started and had all these unfamiliar pains thatcame out immediately.  The insides of my knees really hurt.  The outsides of my shins were extremely painful.  Not to mention I was drenched and wearing pants that were dragging on the ground.  So annoying.  It was the first time in my half marathon training that I had to stop and walk.  And I kid you not that I wasnt even a half mile in.  I had to stop several times during the two miles because my legs hurt so bad.  The hubs kept telling me I just wasnt into it.  I so wasnt.  I was cranky.  In fat mode even.  But what scared me was that I actually didnt feel capable.  How could it be that I ran 10 miles less than a week before and I couldnt even go a few hundred feet without stopping???????????  I think part of it is that I am in that "I have failed" mode.  After eating well all day yesterday I was still hungry.  So what did I do?  I didnt have a bologna and cheese sandwich with real mayonnaise.  Nope.  I had two!!!!!!   Oh I was so pissed after all the yumminess was gone.  Today wasnt much better.

Until.....

I decided that I am going to join Weight Watchers.  It feels good.  I am good at following orders or protocol or schedules...or whatever you want to say.  I did excellent on Medifast.  But that isnt a plan that is an option as I finish up my half marathon training.  Then the icing on the cake....the thing that made me realize that I am done with this little time off I have had from my healthy lifestyle.  I was looking for my resume.  I came across a disc.  I thought maybe it could be on there.  So I popped it in.  Here is what I saw:



Does this picture say it all or what??? Cake...

Its like my boobs and my stomach are all one...

I am more amused that the hubs has hair here....

Yes, I am brushing his teeth.  And the cats wanted some.  Sadly, none of these pets are alive any longer. My sadness was dulled a bit by my realization that I look so uncomfortable doing this task....

Ummmmm...... huh.  No words.

While I believe that I still have a big girl mentality to some extent I was actually suprised to see these pics and realize just how different I look these days.  For a while I didnt see a change.  Now I definitely do :)  And I think that God has such an amazing way of answering prayers.  Because as my husband spoke in his own words to me yesterday, I am "totally off the wagon".  Its the first time I have really felt out of control since this weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey began.  I believe that me seeing these pics was just what I needed. 

Here is a reminder of what I look like today....sorta...














Thank you God for answering my prayers.  For helping me through this little hump and for putting such supportive people in my life.  You all know who you are....  Thank you.  I choose to be the second set of pics.  I choose to be active and happy.  Its all about choices isnt it???

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel so blessed to be your friend. You are a kind, giving open person and you make everyone around you feel comfortable. You asked me for honesty, so here goes. My first reaction to the pictures was: It is so sweet to see how much he loves her. You were big. There's no other way to put it. But you arent any more You may have slipped back into some old habits, but the thing about slipping is that you hit the ground and pick yourself back up. Sometimes you need help up and thats ok! You are surrounded by people who know how special you are and want you to see yourself the same way we see you. :)

Anonymous said...

I feel so blessed to be your friend. You are a kind, giving open person and you make everyone around you feel comfortable. You asked me for honesty, so here goes. My first reaction to the pictures was: It is so sweet to see how much he loves her. You were big. There's no other way to put it. But you arent any more You may have slipped back into some old habits, but the thing about slipping is that you hit the ground and pick yourself back up. Sometimes you need help up and thats ok! You are surrounded by people who know how special you are and want you to see yourself the same way we see you. :)

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

You're just so stinkin cute!

Floriana said...

Like your friend, my first impression was about just how much your husband loves you. It's so obvious. And then, I saw how far you've come. Such a huge difference. You did really well. It would be a shame to waste it and go back to the old ways. Good for you for not letting it happen. Good luck with WW :)

faithfulgyrl said...

Great job! You have done awesome and your transformation is amazing! Sometimes it's good to pull out the "old" pics and realize all we have acomplished. Keep up the good work. You have earned it! :)

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

It is all about choices... I am learning that myself. I love those second set of pictures and the determination in your words. You are not the same Jennifer. We often need re-alignment. Good luck with weight watchers. Go with what helps you and works with you. I like how you can be on yourself without tearing yourself down.

Take care!
~Margene

Karlie said...

Dang Bologna! Hi my name is Karlie from startingat500pounds.com, new reader! I'll be back to read more. You look amazing. Congratulations on your success. It IS all about the choices. I choose to be healthy.

Plamen said...

Great job. This is fantastic work. well done :)

Kristen said...

you've got this. you will be finishing that half marathan in no time

Cyn said...

just found your blog and wow -- love it!!

i just rejoined ww for the third time this week -- been trying to do it on my own for months and i always come back to ww -- dunno why i even thought i could do it alone? lol!
anywho -- you so obviously rock and kudos to you for dusting off and getting right back in there!

happy weekend!
♥cyn♥
misadventures of a chunky goddess

Shelley said...

Wow. So amazing to see the difference in those pictures! What a great find, and obviously, just the right time to find them. You have made some massively major changes in your life! And you look wonderful now. Don't forget that - yes, you may want to lose some more weight, but today? You look fantastic. :)

Joy said...

Look at you on water skis!!! I am so jealous!!! I've tried and tried to get up and still can't do it. You look amazing!

Keep up the great work and stay focused!

Kellyann said...

You look great! You have a very, very pretty face and the progress you've made is really inspiring. Don't stop what you're doing!

Becca said...

I am so behind on reading. You were and still are beautiful, but the difference is the spark you have now. You look healthy and you are doing so many great things to get yourself healthy and to continue to lose.

We will all have mistakes on our paths, but it's how we get up and past those that matters. You are doing awesome and I wish a ton of success with weight watchers!

Karen said...

Honesty....that's why we get along so well. It's the honesty! I love the picture of you and Steven where he has hair! Ever since the first time I met him, he didn't have hair. He looks soooo young in that picture! I love the one of you with glasses and the green shirt!