Saturday, October 16, 2010

A reminder (Jennifer)

Today has been a bitter sweet day in my journey to a better and happier me.  I got on the scale this morning to see 164.  Not bad for a week off out of conrol eating, I thought.  And it was a rough week for sure.  I seem to stick in he 161-166 range for the past 4+ months.  So 164 was kind of a relief after poor choice after poor choice this last week. 

Until.....I went to a Zumbathon at my daughters' dance studio this morning.  It was a benefit for breast cancer.  A great cause so I went.  Its been a while since I did Zumba because of my ankle injury.  It was a little sore here and there but I managed.  Anyway...we did it in front of mirrors. These were once mirrors that showed me how how my progress was during my weight loss of  65ish lbs.  

But was a reminder of just how much room for improvement there is.  I was the fat girl there.  I saw the fat roll in the mirror.  My shirt looked tight.  My arms were big.  And this was much more than my big girl mentality coming in.  Although that was there too for sure.  I felt insecure.  Even embarassed...hmmmm.   I know much of this is because of how I ate last week and havent been exercising the way I want to.  The girls there were much thinner than me and I felt and looked so frumpy in the mirror.  These are feelings I havent seen in a while.

But, again, I am pulling the positive out of this.  For the last few months when the scale has been stuck, I was having some thought of "maybe this is what I am capable of.  Maybe this is where my body is comfortable and I cant lose anymore".  Today was a reminder that I can do much better and make much better choices. 

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to be happy with what I see in the mirror.  For a while I was almost there!  And I want to get back to that point.  Regardless of what the scale says I can tone up there is nothing negative that can come from that!  Helping myself by eating well and exercising is the best thing I can do for my morale.  Lesson learned.  I will add that to the list.

Today I am thankful for:
*having this whole revelation that I CAN do better.  I CAN make better choices.   I am thankful for the attitude to fight back instead of give up.

Have a great weekend!


Floriana said...

I like your attitude. It's so important to get to the point where we are happy with ourself both inside and outside. Good luck in reaching that point :)

jennifer said...

Thank you for posting this. I've decided that its finally time for me to get serious about my weight--running is great, but not enough, and I'm sick of making excuses to myself. This was very inspirational to me.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I like your attitude too... that you can see this for what it is. You recognized some things you don't like but you aren't letting it consume you, but just moving forward in a positive way. There is so much more positive going for you and that you have accomplished. It's no small thing to lose over 60 pounds! And to become a runner and exercise lover... so awesome and amazing! You are a new person, and you aren't going back. I love how you recognize that and don't get too down on yourself. :)


Lesia said...

I understand where you are coming from. No matter how others perceive my size I still feel too big. smile.

dawne said...

So sorry you've had a rough go Jennifer. I really believe it's part of the process and the key is to recognize it, forgive yourself, and keep striving towards consistent, healthy eating. We will get there - I know we will! xxxx

Charlene said...

Iffer I think you should try to be a bit more positive. : ) You know I love you and this positivity is always lurking around you. I'm glad that you are sharing it with others. I love the picture of you and Steve you're both looking so fit and happy.

Josie said...

I understand exactly how you feel, I have been so use to being the fat girl growing up that even though it's been 7 yrs. since I've reached a healthy weight and maintained I still see myself as the overweight girl. It's vicious what your own mind can do for your self esteem. I like your attitude, keep up the great work!!

Jen said...

You have such a great attitude!!! You can and will do whatever you set your mind too :) Have a great week, take it one day and one meal at a time.


Jen said...

You have such a great attitude!!! You can and will do whatever you set your mind too :) Have a great week, take it one day and one meal at a time.


Bringing Pretty Back said...

Jennifer, Thank you! I needed to read this today! It is a beautiful day out and i have been thinking of going for a walk, I didn't go because I was all cozy and didn't feel like going. I am going to go put my shoes on ... grab my ipod and go!
Have a pretty day!
p.s. thank you for your comment on our little coco. she is doing great and we are so happy!