Sunday, December 11, 2011

Day 5 of 84

I decided after much thought that I was going to take before and after pics for my Body for Life 12 week challenge.  I know lots of people say they dont have the guts to do it.  And I am surprised I was brave enough to do it myself.  And actually, I was even more brave because I had the hubs take them.  After putting 30 of my 65 lost lbs back on, I knew I wouldnt be happy with them.  But the book highly suggests taking these photos. 

But after looking at the transformation of others on the Body for Life website, I found myself going back to look at my pics to see what they actually look like.  Does that sound stupid?  There is nothing more real than seeing a picture of yourself I guess.  And having once been 230-240 pounds, then losing 65, then gaining 30 of that back...I have quite a confused and unsure self perception of my body.  I must have gone back and looked at the before pics we took 4 times because I just cant grasp how I "compare" to the other women who took before pics on their Body for Life journey. 

After a few trips back to the camera, here is what I came up with(it took all day to come up with this....):   There is much room for improvement.  Afterall, I am 38.6% body fat :(   My midsection is a wreck.  I have had 4 abdominal surgeries over the years.  It isnt pretty.  There is definate cellulite on my legs and my back pictures have more rolls than the Pillsbury dough boy.  Yet I noticed I am smiling in all of the pics.  Funny right?   Despite how much I am able to pick the pictures(myself) apart, there is still a little bit of pride.  Because even though I am up 30 lbs from my lowest weight, I am still down 40ish from my highest.  And I have to proud of myself for that.  And while I dont have physical pictures of me in a bra and underwear at that weight, I know it was much worse than it is now. 

I hope to make enough progress that I can get over the embarassment and share the before pictures, along with afters, on here one day.  Its things like that that inspire me.  And if I can inspire others then all the better.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to be able to look at my before pics several weeks from now and see that I have come so far!  I really hope I can see a big enough difference to keep me motivated! 

Today I am thankful for:
*my husband who keeps telling me how proud of me he is to see my determination.  I am also thankful for his efforts to be on the plan himself.  I never thought it would be something he would be interested in and did not pressure him into doing it.  He made the choice on his own, and its great to see his determination too!


Shelley said...

Your happiness radiates through this post - what a wonderful thing, to be happy now. Now "when I lose weight", but to be in the moment, and enjoy life today. Love this!

SG said...

so true! you are still 40 lb less than before and that is huge. i didnt take before pics. i probably should. especially since i can NEVER tell when i actually lose weight.

Corletta said...

So...I have missed ready your blog! I had to stop for a bit because it was consuming my life. In fact, yours and a few others are the only ones that I am following! Reading your blog today was great! It was just what I needed. My lowest weight was when I lost 55 pounds. I have gained gained 35 back, BUT, like you, have kept some off too!!! Thanks for the reminder. I think that today is the day to restart my blog!! Thanks for the inspiration!