Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Size is in the eyes of the beholder (Tricia)

I have to admit that I am still uncomfortable with people telling me how great I look. Its really awkward for me...that is I make it awkward. When I hear them say that I look like I lost weight or I look smaller, the little Tricia in my head (..and yes, I fully picture a miniature Tricia in my brain) walk out on stage and pull out her mega-phone and say "..AHEM..YAAAYYYY~ Someone NOTICED..that is all" and walk of stage. However, on the outside I shrug a little and say thanks," I still have a ways to go."
I know that I can move around better and see places of my body that were once a memory, and wear smaller clothes. And I am enjoying showing a little more of what God gave me and feeling better about the clothes I am putting on, but the other day I realized that I still do not like my body. That 50 lbs that are gone made me smallER, but not small or healthy enough. It is hard for me to be proud of how far I come because this glass-half-empty girl is still focusing on how far I have to go before I am comfortable with myself again. And with that came my realization that along with eating healthy again, I have to set another mini goal for myself. I have come down about 1/3 of the weight that I want to lose and I find myself focusing on the big picture again. So while I am settling into my current life with out Medifast, I am going to start with a teeny tiny goal of 5lbs. Just a little push to get myself going again, because I know once I start getting my weight off again, I will remember how great it feels and set larger goals. 5lbs, that is what I am asking of myself right now.


Lesia said...

I too can relate to this post. You do look good in that swimsuit though.smile.

M said...

I feel embarassed every time I get compliments about my weight loss. I have to learn how to take them and not be offended.

Karen said...

A friend once told me that a co-worker walked up to her one day and said something to the fact of her looking thinner like she had lost weight. Now my friend was not overweight before. She (to be polite) responded with a "I've been toning." But that was a complete lie. She didn't know what else to say. She turned to me and said (and I can remember it vividly) "Gee, if she thinks I lost weight does that mean I was overweight before?" I think that's why when someone who is trying to better themselves by losing weight to be healthy they get a little upset/offended hearing a compliment about weight loss. Even tho the praise is good, sometimes it's hard to hear that out loud. The only way I can write what I mean it to put it out there on how it was said to me by a neighbor. Here it goes and it's not meant to hurt anyone so please don't take it that way. This neighbor and I used to be close but a new family moved in so she kind of dropped me for them...whatever. So it had been a few months since we talked and she came up to me one day (now this was when I was doing WW and had only lost about 6 pounds) and she said, "Wow-you look good, you have lost a lot of weight." Now some people might smile and say thank you. But I didn't and for two reasons. 1. I didn't lose a lot of weight...it was 6 pounds, barely noticeable. 2. I knew she was lying, she said it to be nice. and 3. That right there (telling me I lost a lot of weight) pretty much sums it up that you thought I was fat before(sorry that was my thought) I just mumbled a thanks. I know she didn't mean anything by it and was trying to be nice. I know sometimes comments are meant to help but sometimes the way they are said, they don't help and that why we might get offended.
P.S. I don't like to use the word fat, I prefer overweight...not as harsh. But when she said that to me that was the word that popped in my head.