Thanks for the awards! and Fighting back (Jennifer)

I would like to say thank you to Lesia, Dawne, and Bob who all gave me awards.  These are some of my favorite blog writers and I was so honored to get an award.  So thank you! 

Today I decided (thanks to Jen and Lesia's comments yesterday) that I was not going to sit back and let this ankle get the best of me.  And this is exactly why blogging is such a wonderful thing for me.  There is always someone who can put something into a different perspective for me, or flat out put me in my place.  I am counting calories to the very best of my ability.  And, today I went to the gym and did some weight training.  Usually I do my cardio and then weight training.  Today I skipped the cardio and hobbled around from machine to machine and attempted a workout that I was capable of for today.  I didnt have that sweaty accomplished feeling that I get from cardio but at least I am not giving up on me.  This is a journey regardless of what is going on in my life.  There will always be obstacles and even more excuses, and it is up to me to find a way to fight back...every single time.  If I dont then I will end up back at square one like all the other times when I came across a road block, which seemed to be all the time.  But that was the old Jen, and the new Jen is really learning to deal with things differently.  And let me tell you, things MUST be different because I got to the gym this morning only to realize that my gym bag with all my necessary *stuff* was still about 20 miles back at home in our other car.  So...it was a perfect situation where I had a choice to make.  Either I go back home and let that obstacle get the best of me, or...I could go home, get the bag from the other car and go back.  And that is what I did.  Even though I knew I couldnt do a  normal workout I didnt give up.  And for that I have to give myself credit because my mind was really in debate mode.  Was I a bit cranky over it?  Yup, no doubt.  But 75 miles later I fought back and beat my obstacle. 

Hope you all are having a great day.  Oh, I decided to hold off on the dr for a bit and give my ankle the full 10 days before going to see the dr.  I am sure it is not broken so I will try to wait it out.  You all know how much I dread dr visits....

Teresa.....

So Jennfier and I went shopping and it is official she is now one of my "skinny" friends!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay Jennifer! She got some really great clothes and way out of the box for her! I hope she posts some pics of the new outfits. So I have been totally off plan. I feel gross! Tomorrow is a new day and I will be back on plan no if ands or buts!!!! I have that over full feeling again. I have not had that gross feeling in forever but its back. I am also low on energy because I am not eating right. I don't want to grow out of those new pants I bought two sizes smaller! Seeing how good Jen looked and reading my own blog as I write it has re motivated me! I needed that. I was starting not to care, I was becoming okay with what the "new" me. But now as I look in the mirror I am not satisfied....although I look very different than I did 30lbs ago, I am starting to look "fat" again....because I am used to the way I look now. Well my son just came into the room so if I do not get off the computer there will either be random letters typed in the blog or the room will be destroyed! TTYL

Irony (Jennifer)

I went home this weekend to see my family even though I was unable to participate in my first scheduled 5k.  I pouted a little(I wont lie) and then decided to turn my focus on getting this ankle better.  I am happy to say that the pain itself is much better.  But the thing that concerns me is that even though it feels much better I am having a popping on the outside of the ankle with each step I take...every step.  It isnt like it comes and goes.  It is with every step.  So I did a little research on the internet about this and apparently it is fairly common but needs medical attention.  Grrrr.  We know how I feel about dr's these days.  But I just want to get better so I can get back into exercising, and complete a 5k!  I just cant get over the IRONY of this.  Six months ago you couldnt have PAID me to exercise.  And now that I really *want* to and something is standing in my way I am getting cranky about it.  So, I made the appt with the dr(a PA really) for tomorrow.  Apparently my home care of an ace  bandage is not completely fixing the problem.  I will keep you all posted.  Thanks for all your good wishes.

I also have to say that this is proving to be another "test" for the New Jen.  The old Jen would have used this as an excuse to throw in the towel and eat what I want.  A pity party per say.  It would have been another fall off the wagon.  And while I did indulge a bit while visiting family this weekend it is totally different, at least mentally.  It reinforced the fact that there is no wagon and this is the new me.  I have learned that I really like the New Jen much better, and now that I am back home I really want to focus on what I am eating since the exercise part isnt exactly playing a huge role in my journey at this moment.  So it is more important than ever to eat properly in order not to undo my hard work to this point. 

Thanks so much to Dawne and Lesia for my blog awards!  I am going to go "pick them up" now and see what they are all about.  I have only seen them on my email notification and I have much catching up to do on blogs!!

Teresa......

So it's been about a year since I blogged...but I'm still here! I have been maintaining my weight but not losing. Mainly because I have not figured out a good way to be on the go all the time with shakes. Once school starts back up again and I can drink my shakes on a schedule I will be back at it with a vengeance! I am super excited...I bought new pants two days ago and I was down 1 size in one pair and 2 sizes in the other. I have not been this "tiny" in years! I did Tony Little Abs this week...it was tough but I know it will work because I can really feel it! I also did the 30 day shred this week.....it was super hard and the scary part was I did the beginning level! I am going to keep on trucking. I will check in soon!

Waiting and Weigh in Results (Jennifer)

Here I am in town at my parents house just waiting for my ankle to heal.  The 5k I signed up for is tomorrow and if you were to ask me if I am able to do it tomorrow I would say no.  But tomorrow is a new day and maybe I will wake up with a better ankle.  One can have hope right?  I am thinking the sprain probably isnt too bad.  It isnt really swollen and not bruised.  I can put weight on it but the turning and twisting is where the pain comes in.  Oh, and walking...it pops when I attempt to walk normal.  I guess it makes sense because when I fell I actually saw what my ankle did.  My inner ankle went up and the outer ankle went under towards the ground  :(   So after a very cranky day yesterday I have come to terms with me most likely being unable to complete the first 5k I was so excited for.  But there will be others and you better believe that I will be signing up at the first feeling of normalcy in my ankle.  But boy did I have myself a little pity party yesterday.  And it was deserved in my opinion.  I have worked so hard to get fit enough to accomplish one, and whats the chances on my final training run I bust my ankle...grrrrr.  Yup, pity party deserved.

My appts yesterday went.  I had a ultrasound lady who wasnt very nice. They never tell you anything anyway so I didnt dare ask see as she was already unpleasant.  So....now its the waiting game.  And I think for a little while I will play the "no news is good news" game. 

Weigh in yesterday:  162.  That is down about a pound from last week.  It isnt the lowest I have seen in my journey but I will take it.  I used to weigh once a week and now do it almost every day.  And it is interesting to see how much my weight can fluctuate day to day.  I am now taking a few days off from the scale while visiting my family and I think that is a good thing too.  It will be interesting to see what no exercise for a few days (ankle) does for me on the scale.  Just another part of the learning curve of my journey :)

Doesn't it figure (Jennifer)

I am one of the people that seems to have a drama cloud that follows me around. And I hate it.  Sometimes I just need a rest from the drama.   Some people make their own drama because that is how they are.  They thrive on it.  We all know someone like that.  Others are just handed it.  I am one of them.  In short here is what has happened in the last 5 years:  new job, got married, bought a house, had tonsils out, got pregnant, husband got a new job and went away for training for several months, bedrest for 2 months while hubs was away, hubs came back, had a baby via emergency c-secion, had my gallbladder out 3 months later, got pregnant again 3 months after that, quit job, had baby via another c section, baby very sick, stress ate me alive, got cranky and bigger, got some type of extremely debilitating reactive arthriris(so they think but arent sure), took steroid Rx from dr, got bigger but felt better,  sold house, bought another house, and that brings us to about a year ago.  And since then I have tried to avoid the drama, and the dr and really just help myself.  But I decided it was time to have the tests done the drs want me to have.  I am getting my fatty liver rechecked tomorrow, some bloodwork, and some other pending stuff taken care of.  I have been avoiding the dr because I have been living this denial which honestly, has been nice because in turn I was avoiding the drama.  Every time I have some kind of test done I usually get a call later on that something isnt right, or something needs to be rechecked, etc..  It stresses me.  So if I didnt go, there was none of that stress.  But its time, and my appts are tomorrow.  I have gotten myself in *better* shape and have helped myself the best way I know how.  I am running, and exercising, and eating properly.

Yes, runnning.  And so today I went out for my final long run before the "race" on Saturday.  I planned my 4 miles and off I went.  I am getting towards mile three and a truck is coming.   Our road is kinda narrow and the truck seemed big so I stepped off the road where apparently the pavement was cracked and much higher than the ground... and I FELL...onto the cracked and crumbled up sharp rocks.  My first thought was that the rocks hurt my hand.  But, I quickly hopped right back up in embarassment since I am sure the guy saw me.  I made it all 4 miles and thought I was okay.  But when I got home my ankle started bothering me to walk on it...almost instantly after I stopped running.  So, now I sit on the couch with my foot up icing on/off every 20 minutes.  Doesnt it figure? D*R*A*M*A

I pray that 1) all my tests go well tomorrow and 2) my foot is okay by my run on Saturday.  I am so looking forward to it and dont want to have to miss it.

I wasnt sure (Jennifer)

I wasnt sure I would get anyone to join me in Syl's challenge for Jillian's 30 Day Shred.  But to my surprise lots of you were interested.  Teresa sent me a picture message of the DVD in her cart at Walmart.  I got mine today for like $8 and change there too!  Totally worth a shot in my opinion.  For those of you who left a comment on yesterday's post I left you each another comment on there today.  If you want to sign up officially for her challenge click on the link above and do so.  If you just want to do it for a good time then that is great too!!  The ladies at my gym swear that this type of weight exercise is what really makes the difference.  I really do think that each of us should take a picture the day we start and then at the end...even if we dont share it.  I will probably share mine because that is what I do  :) 

Yesterday I sprayed myself all up with hardcore bug spray (we live near a swamp) and went for a 4 mile run.  It started to rain along my way and I didnt even mind. Other than worrying about my Ipod getting wet I kind of even enjoyed it!  I am going to try to get in one more longer run (4 -5 miles is a long run for me at this point) tomorrow and then maybe just a short 1 mile run on Thursday or Friday morning before my first 5K on Saturday.  I am pretty excited about it!  The girls each had a quick sore throat and fever that lasted a day or so and now the hubs is saying his throat hurts.  So...I am praying I dont get sick for my "race" that I am now so excited for.

Here is a pic of today's lunch.  I dont usually post pics of my meals but this was so good and worth the calories I felt I must share it.  It is one of those Flat Out wraps that I usually dont care for with a sandwich but I really like it like this.  Anyway, it is a wrap (100 cals), 17 slices of turkey pepperoni (70 cals), and 2 oz of part skim mozzerella cheese (140 cals) for a total of 310 calories.  I wrapped it and put it in the oven for 20 minutes and it gets crispy on the outside and gooey and cheesy on the inside :) I probably should have taken the pic before I bit into it...but it wasnt until I tried it and enjoyed it so immensely that I figured I should share the pic.  Very satisfying.

I hope you are all having a good week. 

A new challenge (Jennifer)

Today I was reading Syl's blog and she is challenging me to do Jillians's 30 day shred(really she signed me up against my will after daring me...hahahaha).  At first I wasnt sure if I would do it but then after reading her reason for doing the challenge(to move the scale when it seems stuck) combined with the reviews that are just awesome I decided this is just what I need.  Yes, I belong to a gym but I am going to change things up and add this into my schedule.  Why not?  It cant hurt, except in a good way.  Exercise is good.  Period.  And exercise with Jillian in my opinion cant be anything but productive, right?  From what I can tell from the reviews it is quick in length(a plus in my book) and VERY effective(even better).  Now...we all know that people sure can be critical and if the reviews are THAT GOOD it must be good.  And to top it all off the DVD is totally affordable at under $10.  So..why not right?  Toning is good.  Thanks Syl for twisting my arm, or should I say forcing me to partake in your challenge.  So yes, in a month I hope to be thanking you!  Now that I have done the research I am actually really excited! 

This challenge begins on Sept 1.  Anyone interested?

How many calories? (Jennifer)

This plateau has got me thinking again about how many calories I should be eating a day.  Sometimes it just doesnt seem like 1200 is enough.  And therefore, I want to snack because that 1200 isnt satisfying.  The sheet at the gym says 1200 a day for 6 days and then the 7th day is a free day to indulge.  Okay...I will tell you this...  I know myself, and if I give myself a "free" day I am more than  capable of eating enough calories to ensure there will be a gain on weigh in day even if it is a week later.  So, really what I need to figure out is what calorie range is good for me to lose weight with the exercise I am doing.  I was eating 1300-1400 calories a day and even though it wasnt a ton more than 1200, it felt more doable to me.  But I wasnt sure that was working for me, and honestly I still dont know because we threw a few vacations and non counting days in the loop so it really is hard to tell.  I am making much healthier choices and not splurging on much,  and at the end of the day I am usually shocked with the amount that I DIDNT eat that day.  Isnt that odd?  What amazes me really is the amount of food I used to eat.  And I feel that for my healthier choices and reduction of calories I should be seeing results with my exercise.  BUT then I look and see that when I am following a 1200 calorie diet I am usually snacking here and there (a very nasty old habit that needs to disappear) and that throw the calorie count for the day.  It also makes me feel a little out of control when I snack, even though it is just a bite. 

So...here it is.  I am going to allow myself between 1300-1400 calories a day along with my exercise.  And, I will count every single little crumb that goes in...at least for now while I am on the weight loss part of my journey.  This is serious business at this point.  The only one suffering from the mind games of having "just a bite" 10 times a day is ME.  I measure and sometimes even weigh my food.  Its a great step in the right direction but by snacking here and there and not counting it what the point???  With the added calories I hope to feel a little more satisfied and figure it out by getting an accurate count(by not omitting anything from my food log).    Thoughts?

Thank you (Jennifer)

First, thanks to you all for your comments and advice about my 5K coming up next weekend.  They have helped take some of the nerves away and I feel more encouraged that I can do this!!!!  So thank you for that.  I bet Friday night and Saturday morning I will be a ball of nerves again..hehe.

I went for a run tonight.  My parents are in town so after dinner I decided to do a 4 mile run while they watched the girls.  It is breezy and cooler tonight so I decided to go on our road since the mosquitoes dont come out much in those conditions.  We live near a swamp and its a rarity so I took advantage!   However, I was well into my run feeling pretty good actually when I saw lightning and heard the thunder getting closer.  So I turned around and headed home.  A few minutes later my awesome mom showed up with the truck and picked me up.  She wasnt going to let her daughter get stuck in the storm :)  So I got in the car and felt just awesome!  We retraced my steps with the truck(I REALLY need to get one of those garmin watches) and I had run 2.0 miles.  I definately had more in me, but I am so happy with how the run left me feeling.

And this leads me to another topic I have written about before.  If I felt like this every time I ran I wouldnt have that negative feeling before a run that I sometimes get.   I had a good run tonight and I look forward to my next run because of how it made me feel.  On the days that I struggle through  a run I tend to dread the next one.  So...this has made me look at what has made some of the experiences good vs. bad.  I have come up with this:  I like to run outside in favorable, cooler weather.  I notice that on the treadmill I am watching numbers and so on, but the temperature is favorable.  When I am outside it is much nice scenery and less boring, but sometimes the weather and skeeters make it not so great.  So, I guess having a nice cool day to run outside is what I like.   From now on I am going to be more in tune with myself and what is making my running experiences good vs. bad. 

Enjoy the rest of the weekend :)

All signed up (Jennifer)

I have been talking about possibly wanting to do a 5k run.  There is one in October that I would like to do.  By then the weather should be much cooler.  But it seems so far away.  I have completed runs of 3 to 5 miles at home on my own.  So then I thought maybe I would do one at the end of August in my hometown where my parents live.  I have been tossing it around in my head because maybe it would too hot that day, or maybe it would rain, or maybe....you get the point.  Excuses.  Last night I decided I really do want to do this. I offered my friend Ron to do it with me and my hubby was going to but now has to work.  This seems to be a MUCH smaller scale one than in October which is the Komen run where the turnout will be huge.  From what I can see there were only 350 people at this same run last year.   I decided it is time.  I want to commit to this.  So I did.  Regardless of who goes with me, what the weather is, or what my horoscope is for that day(that was a joke) I am going to do it...FOR ME.  So thats it.  I am signed up for next Saturday.  After signing up for it I saw it was called a 5k "race".  I did see where walkers are welcome, but I would like to run the whole thing.  My run is probably considered a slow one, but hey...its what I can do.  The word "race" is very intimidating to me.  I told Trish that I am doing it and she wrote back that she will come to the "race".  Just seeing the word makes me nervous.  I am not a big fan of competition.  It just isnt my thing.  I am doing this for me...not to compete with anyone.  So, at this point I have feelings of excitement and nervousness at the same time. 

Tips?  Thoughts?  Advice?  Any words of wisdom for the week before my run will be appreciated!  I really dont know what to expect.

Oy! (Tricia)

What a crazy week I had. On Tuesday I had the worst pain ever in my right side so I abruptly left work and went next door to Urgent Care. Six hours, two blood draws, an MRI, a nap, and one pee-cup later and I walked out of there with a Kidney infection, gallstones, a script and a gi referral. AWESOME. To top things off, the DR said I should hold off on starting Medifast until I see the GI DR and get the ok. But wait there is more... I went to the GYN today for another consult with the infertility doctor and she suggested having my gallbladder out before I get pregnant to avoid more pain and perhaps complications if I needed surgery during my pregnancy. YAY. So now I am trying not to eat fatty foods and too much dairy to avoid this horrendous pain. Well, hopefully I can get this GI appointment fast so I can get this show on the road!!

Weigh In Results (Jennifer)

Today's weight:  163.  That is down from last week but not the lowest I have seen.  But I went on vacation and enjoyed myself and I have moved on!  And that is what is great for me.  Moving on.  Not falling off some wagon and making excuses.   I am back on track and it feels good.  I looked back into my older posts and found that I have been around the 165ish range(give or take a pound or two) for well over two months now.  Soooooo....my conclusion is that I have hit a plateau.  While it can be frustrating at times, I am actually kind of happy about it.  Of course I would like to be in the 150's soon, but realizing that I have been in the 160's for a while is reassuring to me that I have made a lifestyle change.  I have had parties, gone to parties, went on vacation, and have remained at this weight within a few lbs.  But now there are no parties scheduled, vacation is done, and it is time to buckle down and get into the 150's.  And most importantly I would like to work on some of my problem areas, like my midsection and rear end.  So, I am going to be doing more ab work and attempt to run a little more for my cardio. My goal is to see the 150's in the month of September at some point.

A few minutes to myself- A choice (Jennifer)

Our friends Ron and Teresa just left left.  It was great having them and it makes you realize who your true friends are.  But now everyone is gone and I find myself sitting here with a choice.  My hubs brought the girls to dance and I have options as to how to fill my time.  This really isnt something that happens too much!   Sooo...should I relax?  Get in some totally focused uninterrupted cleaning?  Or...exercise since I havent today?    I know what I SHOULD do.  And the only things that is holding me back from success is ME and MY choices.  How much do I want this?  How much do I want to be healthy and feel good about me?  I know that last week when I was on vacation I didnt feel great, physically or mentally, having eaten more food and some less than healthy stuff.  So, there is my answer, right?  Yesterday I was dreading getting on the treadmill.  But I got on and then I felt like a rockstar and wanted to keep going.  So I ask myself...what is it that makes me "dread" to get on it?  It isnt a bother to get changed, and it doesnt physically hurt to run so what is my problem?  Once I am doing it I love it.  I feel great, motivated and acomplished.  But it is just getting to that point that is tricky for me.  And I dont get it.  I think maybe its a mental thing.  Exercise used to be something I dreaded because it hurt, I would get out of breath, uncomfortable,  and so on... but that was 60+ lbs ago.  And I think that it is still etched in my head that exercise = negative feelings.  Isnt that odd?  I am hoping that with time my mindset will change.  Because once I get going its great!  So my goal is to work on enjoying the whole concept of exercise.  I want to look forward to it.  Not just once I am into it, or after,  but before.

Having said that...tonight I will either do a run, or go to the gym for zumba.  I am waiting for a text back from Karen to see if she wants to go to the class or not.  If not I will hop on the treadmill here and look forward to the great feeling of pride and accomplishment that I get while doing it and after. 

Lesia-hope you had fun at your first Jazzercise class!!!  Let me know how it goes.

It felt good (Jennifer)

I went to the gym today for the first time since "that class" I took last Monday that left me hurting.  I was nervous that maybe I had lost some of my stamina, especially for running since there has been little exercise.  Today I knew my friend would not be at the gym so I got my IPOD and decided to spend some time on the treadmill.  I decided since it has been a while, and still concerned that maybe I wasnt fully recovered from my class last week, that I would do what I could do.  I set my goal at 2 miles and hoped I could complete that.  To my surprise I didnt seem to be lacking any stamina.  And actually, even though I had it set on 5.2 mph I felt I had more in me when I got to 2 miles.  So I did the rest at 5.8 mph.  I was rather surprised and happy how my body handled it.  I wasnt tired.  Actually, I was totally up for it.  I am not a fan of using the treadmill at the gym.  I am a rather endowed girl and I dont like "bouncing" in front of everyone when I am running.  But I suit up as well as I can when I do.  Its a women's gym so that helps too.  Just a bunch of real women trying to better themselves.  Its nice and makes is more comfortable I think.

Ron and Teresa and my adorable Godson are coming today and spending the night.  It will be great fun and maybe I can even talk Ron into a run tomorrow morning if the wind is blowing(it keeps the deadly skeeters away).   Ron- this would be why I asked if you brought your sneakers :) 

In the swing of things (Jennifer)

I am back into the swing of things.  Vacation is over and I am back into my routine.  I went to my zumba class tonight.  Since the Total Sculpt weight class last Monday I have not been able to do much exercise.  But today I was back at it.  I have to say that my body was tired.  Taking a week off from exercise apparently is not a great thing for my body.  I was watching the clock and not that into it.  My feet hurt.  I could feel the extra weight on my body. especially my stomach as I was jumping around.  I must really be in tune with my body said the lady at my class when I told her that.  I got on the scale this morning and it wasnt pretty.  Up 3 lbs from last week.  Now, my "friend" arrived today and I am sure that is a big part of it since I can see the mark on my wrist where my watch sits.  I am bloated and feel tired.  I am not too discouraged though because I really do think that my body needed a little change from the 1200 or so calories a day I had been taking in, especially after coming off Medifast and taking in even less than that.  It feels good to be back into the swing of things.  Tomorrow morning I plan to go to the gym.  I dont think there are any classes I will take but I will get my cardio in along with some upper body training and then a visit to the sauna.  So...the bottom line is:  I took a vacation, I enjoyed myself, I lived(ate more than usual), I learned(felt yuck), and now I am happily back on track.

Trish-congrats on  your choice to get the rest of the weight off.  I am so proud and happy for you.  I am happy that you are so excited about it!

The decision (Tricia)

Well, I thought it over and came to a conclusion. I want to go back on Medifast. I have another 50lbs I want to lose before I give it a go on my own again. I really got excited about it when I was telling my friend while camping about the program and it felt like the first time I made the decision back in February with Jennifer. I am still a little concerned about how I long I can do it for considering it is very costly, but I went through my cabinets and figured out how much food I have left over and how much food I have to buy and I can at least do it for one month. I guess I will keep reviewing it every two weeks to make sure I can afford it. I have put my order in and I am hoping to get my food by Thursday to start this Friday. I really can't wait!

OMG...(I'm back!) (Jennifer)

Well, I am back from vacation.  For the most part it was great.  Relaxing and just what I needed.  Some great times with the family.   HOWEVER...let me just tell you....  the last time I blogged was after I took the total sculpt class at the gym on Monday, and then attempted the kickboxing class in which I had to leave after half the class because the first class just wiped me out.   Now, I know I may have mentioned that the strength class was tough and I expected to be sore...  Yes, I expected to be sore.  I did NOT in any way expect to be totally out of commission.  And I say this with total seriousness.  I woke up Tuesday morning and I kid you not I could barely walk.  My legs hurt so bad.  And my butt.  It wasnt just a soreness, it was more like all out pain.  I couldnt bend my knees my thigh, butt, and groin muscles hurt so bad.  I realized my body was compensating by hyperextending my knees when I did manage to walk at all.  I had a hard time even sitting.  Not only did it hurt to move, it hurt to even remotely TOUCH the muscles(not good when I have two little girls who are used to jumping all over mommy!).  I have never experienced anything like this from working out!   My poor husband was ready to sleep in another bed because any time he bumped into me in the night, which seemed like way too often,  it resulted in a very loud unstoppable scream.  This went on until Thursday(3 days!!!!!) at which time I became more functionable, but still sore.    For those first three days, simple tasks like sitting down, standing up, climbing stairs seemed like impossibilities.  I tried so hard to work through it.  I did the best I could. I stretched frequently(very very very slowly) which did help some despite the pain to do so.  Thank God my hubby was helpful with the kids for those days!  Please tell me that one of you out there has experienced something like this after weight training?  Obviously I overdid it just by following along in class using the weights the teacher told me to use! I was like totally shocked by the extent of soreness.  I remember waking up Tuesday morning and saying to my husband, "OMG, I have had surgery that has not been this painful!".   And I wasnt kidding.

Needless to say...I did not complete any run or exercise other than kayaking this week.  And even that was a task trying to get into the kayak.  Oh...and then out.  But at least it was something.  It was my vacation and although for the first part of the week I did pretty well with my eating, the second part of the week was a little rough.  Yet,  I am so happy with how I feel tonight.  I may have eaten more than I should have, and things that I wouldnt normally eat on my vacation, BUT...I feel so excited and anxious to get back to preparing my own food and counting calories.  I have to say that after eating some potato chips my body actually felt sick.  I was so excited by this.  My body has gotten used to my healthy eating and I cant wait to get back to the great feeling I get in return for it.  The old Jen would have turned the few days of "off plan-ness" into an excuse to fail.  But I realize now that I am not on a diet.  I really have changed my ways.  I really am learning so much though this journey.  I have not weighed yet but I will tomorrow morning.  I expect a gain and I am fine with that.  I deserve it.  Its when I gain and I dont deserve it that I get frustrated.  

Trish...so glad to see you are posting again.  Welcome back!  It was great to see you today.  You look great girl! 

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone!  I will be going through the blogs soon to catch up.  Hope you all had a great week.

Jennifer

Christmas Vacation (Tricia)

My second to last night of vacation found me at home watching some TV while my husband was on the computer. While I was flipping through the channels I stumbled on a show called HUGE. Apparently the show is about over-weight teens at a modern day fat camp. I happened to catch about a minute of it before I flipped to find something else, but I am still thinking about the few moments I did watch. The kids were doing a weigh-in and right after the weigh in, the show focused on a conversation between two boys. One was crying and the other boy asked him why he wasn’t happy about his weight-loss. The crying boy basically said that he wasn’t sad about the weight he did lose, just the realization of how far he still had to go. Wow. Couldn’t have said it better myself, Kid.As I told you in my Vacation post, my husband and I went camping with another couple, Laurie and Bryan. While we were there, I had a conversation with them about Medifast and how great the program was and how well it worked for me. I was trying to give as much detail as I could because I was hoping that Laurie would inform her friend about the program because her friend was thinking about having bypass surgery. Not that bypass surgery is bad, but I was hoping that her friend may have success on the program and could avoid the surgery.Well, with all the enthusiasm I put in selling the plan to Laurie, I realized just how much it really did for me and how happy I was (most of the time) when I was on the plan. This, coupled with my recent one-man fashion show quandary (please see European Vacation post) with a dash of Huge, has really gotten me thinking about the plan again. The good, the bad, and the pugly (hehe, pudgy and ugly together. Get it? Get it?) Hummm…more thinking needed I believe.

European Vacation (Tricia)

To continue with my first vacation post, besides camping, we went to Lake Champlain for a few days and spent some time at home. Well, while at home the other day I remembered that my husband’s sister is coming to visit in a few weeks and I needed to tidy up the spare bedroom for our visitor. Its not terribly dirty, just cluttered with some stuff that we haven’t put away or found a proper place for yet. Well, I thought I would start by taking a few minutes and making an assessment of the situation so I can begin my proper planning procedures for the rooms clean up. When I was taking a glance into the room, I noticed a big black bag in the corner and suddenly remembered that my husband had brought some clothes up from the basement and asked me to “do something” with them. My solution at that moment of course was to get them out of the middle of my kitchen, so into the spare room they went. I was a little curious so I started to go through the bag right then and there. One of the first items I pulled out was my college graduation gown and thought “this is going to be GOOD”. I graduated from college (gulp) NINE years ago so I could only imagine what was in this bag. But as I started to pull out clothes, I realized that some of them were the size that I am currently wearing. And things like wool sweaters and kaki’s do not go out of style so I stripped down and started trying clothes on. There were about six pairs of pants that I kept because they fit me and the rest, mostly shirts, I giggled to myself and put into my toss pile. There were also some clothes that got me thinking.
I have been so pleased with myself for losing weight and dropping two dress sizes. But, as I was trying on the clothes from Christmas past I realized that most of the clothes that fit me were only one size down from where I started from. The clothes that were the size I am currently in were WAY to small on me. And, I don’t mean, lay down on the bed, suck it in, and pray kind of tight. I mean I cut my leg with the zipper trying to get the waist up over my thighs, no way in HECK kind of tight. A realization kindof formed in my head at that point. While I still think the weight I lost has been a HUGE accomplishment for me, I am starting to think that maybe it wasn’t as big as I once thought. Trust me, not being negative about my recent weight loss at all, just making observation. Is it possible that in the years that it has taken me to balloon up and to deflate, did we change our dress sizes? With our country’s constant battle with obesity and self-esteem issues, did we actually try and make Americans feel better about their weight by making our sizes bigger? This is a very intriguing question to me and one that I would like to investigate further. Perhaps a little research is needed…
The toss pile is now by the door with the other bag..still waiting for a car trip to the drop off bin.

Vacation (Tricia)

Hi Everyone! Well, I have been on vacation in and out of town for the last week and a half, sorry I haven’t posted. A lot has been on my mind during that time and I am going to try to put it all into words so I think I will break them up into a few different posts. To get started, lets chat a little about my vacation, shall we?
One of the things my husband and I did on vacation was go camping with another couple. It was terrific. We enjoyed a few technology-free days in the woods chatting and playing cards and loving the great weather that we had. I realized a few things while we were camping that I could think about in the future if I had a lack of motivation moment.
1) It was much easier to move around this year and I wasn’t completely exhausted from setting up our site.
2) I didn’t have to squeeze into my sleeping bag. This is very important because when I am camping, I like to borough into my sleeping bag until my feet hit the bottom and pull the top over my head and my pillow. It makes for a very cozy sleeping arrangement and since none of my body is showing, I won’t look like dinner to a bear that might bust into my tent during the night. And by bust, I of course mean to carefully unzip the tent, pull back the flap and peak in looking for a midnight snack, only to find a lump of material. Disappointed, the bear would re-zip the “door” and move on to the next tent all without me knowing that we had a visitor. Yes, I have envisioned this…but its usually two bears and there is a conversation between them. I won’t go into detail about that, because some of you may think I am weird….er.
Ok, so where was I? Oh, yes, the sleeping bag. As I got bigger, it was a little less enjoyable to sleep in the bag because, well it became a little tight. I started to feel like I was stuffed into it and in the mornings, when I unzipped myself, I think it must have been a sight. I like to think it looked like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon…however, I don’t think my husband would say I was re-creating a butterfly plowing out of my green sack. More like Nessy coming up for air.
I had a great conversation with my fried Laurie (and Bryan) when we were hanging around by the fire about Medifast and how I had lost my weight. I was talking about how great it was to have lost the weight, but how frustrating it was at the same time to deal with having clothes too big. Now, don’t think I am getting all skinny-headed here and think I am talking like a 100 lb girl who you just overheard say to her other skinny friend, “OMG, I hate shopping for clothes, I am totally between size 0 and 2 and nothing fits right.” (if you say it with a valley-girl accent, it sounds even better). I am just simply saying that it was an issue when I was carrying the laundry up from the basement with my arms full and my pants around my knees. Well, I was talking to my friends about how I have started to pull clothes out of my drawers that just simply do not fit anymore and making a pile. Laurie had suggested that I donate them, which I had all intentions of doing..but something was stopping me. The inner fat-girl has been a little afraid to do this. I told Laurie that I have been concerned about ballooning up again and then having no clothes to fit into. But then Bryan and Laurie both told me to just get rid of them. And they are right. I don’t want to hold on to them because then I wouldn’t be so hard on myself if I did get back into those bigger sizes since I already had the clothes. If I had to buy more clothes because I was gaining weight, I think I would be angry with myself for allowing my eating to get out of hand again and that is just not the direction that I want to go in. So, when I got home, I took my pile of clothes, put them in a bag and have set them by the door for me to drop off. That was a step in the right direction. Next my goal is to get them in the car…

A few days (Jennifer)

I went to my Total Sculpt class this morning.  It was so hard.  I was shocked how hard actually.  Here I was thinking about how I have come so far and this class put things back into perspective for me.  I was doggin it.  Totally out of shape I felt.  So now I will work on building muscle through this class.  A friend and I decided last week we would try the kickboxing class right after.  Ummmmm....hmmm...how do I put this clearly...  I only made it through half the class and had to LEAVE because my legs were such jello from the first class.  They were literally wobbling underneath me.  I decided to leave because I actually was thinking I could get hurt on the steps that we were using.  I was barely capable of doing a simple step.  I didnt even make it to the point where the boxing bags came out  :(  Having said that...I probably would have loved that class had I done it first.  Next time I will not try them back to back.  What was I thinking?

I will be away from the computer for a few days but I will be sure to pick up right where I left off.  Blogging has because such a big part of my weight loss and I hate being "out of the loop" for a bit!  I am going to attempt a few runs this week.  I say that now but I sure that when I wake up tomorrow I will be hurting from the classes today!

My favorites (Jennifer)

I decided to do a different kind of post today.  For most of us who "watch" what we are eating, there are some foods that are just must haves.  They are our staple foods.  Things that help us through this journey day by day. I thought it would be nice to share a few of the newer things that I have come across that I rely on.  For those of you on Medifast skip to the next paragraph or take notes for when you come off! 

First, breads can be tough.  They are full of carbs and some of them just are plain not good for us.  I have come across both Arnold Select Sandwich Thins (whole grain) for 100 calories for the whole "bun".  I use them for just about everything.  And when I dont use them I use the Bagel thins by Thomas'(110 calories per whole bagel).  I really enjoy the "everything" flavor for these.  Each choice contains 4-5 grams of fiber which is always a plus in my book.  I toast either one of these choices before eating them.

Next, I have found that I love whipped cream cheese.  Apparently you can have two whole tablespoons of it for 60 calories.  Right now I am using Philadelphia brand but I have also used the store brand and enjoy that as well.  Two TBSP is quite a bit of cream cheese for a bagel.  Sometimes I even toast up the Arnold Select thin and put it on there.  Yummm.  I dont ever feel unsatisfied when I eat this.

Next is a jelly I have come across.  I have never been the type to put jelly on my toast, unless there was a large amount of butter underneath it.  Things have changed.  I came across Polaner brand jelly.  It comes in a glass jar and while it is a little more pricey than some of the others out there it is totally worth it.  It is all natural, sweetened with only real fruit juice, AND has 3 grams of fiber and only 30 calories per tablespoon.  Sometimes I use this alone on a toasted bagel or sandwich thin or I use some whipped cream cheese with this on top.  I have tried the grape and seedless raspberry flavors and I like them both.  The raspberry is my favorite.  Sweet and not tart.  yummm. I now know what I will eat for breakfast tomorrow :)

Last is something I have discovered to satisfy my sweet tooth.  And boy do I have one.  It is a downfall for me.  I recognize it and do my best to manage it.  I came across the Jello brand puddings.  They are in the refrigerated section at the store in dairy.  I first tried the sugar free Milk Chocolate one because it has live cultures and contains fiber.  By now I am sure you get the point.  For me, fiber = good.  So I tried it and it was pretty good.  I like chocolate but I am not one of those women who must have it.  The next trip to the store I saw they have another sugar free one flavored Dulce de Leche.  It doesnt have fiber like the other but I gave it a whirl at 60 calories.  OH MY....this was just awesome.  It satisfied my sweet tooth and I actually thought it was good enough that I could eat that instead of an ice cream cone the next time the family goes for one.  Now...that says a lot in my book!  It had a candy/caramel like topping on top of the yummy pudding and it was truly to die for.

I would love to hear from you what your favorite must have foods are that help you along in your journey.  Please share!

Tomorrow I am attempting my first kickboxing class at the gym, and also a strength class of some sort.  I should probably find out what it is exactly before I show up.  haha. My friend and I got the guts up to give them a whirl.  The old Jen would have never attempted such a thing.  Wish me luck!

Have a great week!

Jennifer

Singing a new tune (Jennifer)

First...thanks so much for all your supportive and kind words.  They are totally appreciated and it is days like these that I find blogging to be so helpful.  Second...I apologize for the pity party.  I am over it.  Moved on.  Its been a while since I let the whole weight thing get to me in a negative way.  I have come so far in this journey and a measly 3 lbs is not going to do me in.  I am still down 60+ lbs and I am proud of my accomplishments.  I have reached so many of my goals that I set out for. 

I did two things yesterday that really helped. First, I went back into my older posts and checked them out.  I realized that this is probably a plateau.  Over the last several weeks(well over a month) I have had a 6lb gain and almost the same in losses. The gains were only twice at 3 lbs each which is the frustrating part.  The losses a pound here, two there, etc.  So really what is happening is I am maintaining my weight within a few pounds.  Second, I went to the gym and since I was due to be measured again I actually ASKED them to do it.  I wanted to see what the deal is and what is really happening with MY BODY and not the scale.  She measured me and I was shocked by the results.  Since June 15th when I was last measured I have lost an additional  8 1/4  inches all over my body!!  I had told her my frustration and she said it is most likely water and hormones(even though it isnt my time) because the measurements prove that I am losing fat!!  Yaaaay!  Since I started the gym two and  a half months ago I am down a total of  14  1/4 inches all over my body.  Since then I have lost 10 lbs but the measurements are much more tale telling!

Again, thanks to you all for your support and comments. 

I dont get it (Jennifer)

I dont get it.  At all.  Yesterday's weigh in was a total disappointment.  Actually it was more than disappointing.  I am angry... because I just dont understand.  I got on the scale and saw a 3 lb gain.  Did I have a FEW extras this week?  Yes, but in my opinion it isnt enough to have made me gain that amount.  I ate way less than I would have if I hadnt been "watching what I eat" and I exercised quite a bit.   I did at least 7 miles of running last week, 5 miles or more of walking(and these with hills so I felt like I had really accomplished something) AND 4 zumba classes which supposedly burn 400-1200 calories per hour class.  Maybe the "extra treats" should have made me deserve a maintain, or even a slight gain but this is uncalled for.   I know I will never be able to go back to the way I used to eat when I was almost 230 lbs.  But it kinda makes me mad that I cant even splurge  A  LITTLE bit without a big gain.  And thats what gets me.  I am still eating way less(even witth the splurge here and there which isnt much)  than most other people are who are thinner than I am!  Supposedly lb of weight is 3500 calories.  I know for sure I didnt eat 10,000 extra calories to gain 3 lbs.  I didnt even eat 1000 more!!!  So why?  I am putting the exercise in and that should count for something too.  A gain like this takes me weeks to lose again.  I apologize for this vent but I am really struggling to understand.  This is the first time in this journey that I am actually MAD.

Having said that...I went to my dr yesterday and they all told me how great I look.  That was a great feeling because I dont get much of that anymore.  But I havent seen them in a while and it was nice to get some positive reinforcement....especially after the scale was so mean.

I may start weighing a little more often.   The losses are slower now and it might be good to keep myself in check every day or few days.   It may beneift me to see how weight can fluctuate with water weight and digestion, etc.  I have always been a once a week weigher so this will be new for me.  Thoughts?

Have a great day.

Another lesson learned (Jennifer)

This weight loss journey has taught me so many valuable lessons along the way, both physical and mental lessons.  I embrace all of this new knowledge and look forward to what I will learn next.  Yesterday I said I thought my body needed a rest.  So many of you chimed in and agreed.  I thank you for that.  I listened to you all, and myself, and took the day off.  A day of rest.  After the girls went to bed I caught up on some great reading.  And you were all right.  My body repaid me today in a way that was so amazing.  I went to my zumba class this morning.  Last week when I went I just wasnt "on my game".  My body would not keep up and I kept watching the clock like this class was dreadful or something.  The same on Monday night when I went to my class.  This morning I really wasnt sure what to expect.  Much to my surprise I was totally into this class.  I felt like a rockstar.  My body paid me back 1000 times over for the day of rest I gave it.  Who knew?  All of you apparently :)  To me this is an awesome lesson learned.  I was getting a little nervous after having two classes of feeling like I was in slow motion and in some kind of fog.   I was starting to wonder what was going on.  I was run down.  Period.  My body asked for rest...I gave it...it thanked me.  End of story :)

Have a great day! 

Jennifer

Rest (Jennifer)

Rest.  I believe that my body is asking me for rest.  So that is what I will give it.  Last night I went to my normal monday night Zumba class.  I cant even explain how off I was.  Even the teacher said "what is wrong with you tonight Jen?" .  I think it may be from doing the 3 and 4 mile runs(6 miles with the walk) one day apart.  It probably wouldnt have been as straining to my body had that large hill not been involved.  I know I keep talking about this hill so next time I go up there I will take a picture of it and put it on here.  I felt like I was in slow motion in class last night.  Like my body would not keep up with what I was asking of it.  I kept watching the clock waiting for the class to end and I never do that.  I didnt feel like talking or being my bubbly self.  I felt like going home and sitting on the couch in a daze.  I was planning on zumba tonight but have decided to give myself a day of rest.  I always see other blogs of runners who say they are taking a day of rest or that their body is asking for rest and I never really got it.  I get it now.  Its a different feeling than just being tired.  I am going to listen to my body. I didnt sleep that great last night.  The girls were up on and off for some reason.  That means I am up too.  Hopefully tonight will be better. 

Have a great day!

Back again... (Jennifer)

We went to Old Forge again this weekend. It was such a great time.  I really enjoyed myself.  I ate way too much on Saturday and I am pretty curious how that will play out on the scale come Thursday.  But I dont feel totally guilty about it.  It was a family gathering and I enjoyed myself.  I was able to get some exercise in.  One day I jogged 3+ miles including this hill that was awful.  I actually had to walk for about 10 seconds going up it.  It was pretty steep.  The next day I did 4 miles running which included the hill 2 times in which I again had to walk a bit up it in order to feel like I wasnt going to die.  Then after that 4 miles I walked the dog 2 more miles which involved the hill again.  Sooo...I may not have behaved exceptionally well but I did exercise and that is way better than I would have done in the past.  In the past I would have eaten twice as much as I did (maybe even more) and not exercised an ounce.  My hubby came with me this time and it was something new for us.  We dont usually get to run together.  It was really nice having someone to watch the girls while we had some time together even if we didnt speak a word.  It was still a bonding experience.

Yesterday we saw a bear.  Three actually.  I think the cub ran into the road first.  We slammed on the brakes and then came the mama and another cub.  Of course I didnt have my camera but did use the cell phone to snap a pic.  Not the best quality but its all I have!  So cute but the noises mama made were scary nonetheless.

The deer we see all the time.  But this was amazing!