Okay, I have finally had enough of the ankle. I thought it was getting better. And the pain part really has improved drastically. However, I still have the popping feeling behind the ankle with every step. It is a big enough pop that it is affecting how I walk. So I broke down and made the appt for tomorrow. I would have gone today but we didnt get back into town until this morning and then my daughter had a dance performance midday and there just wasnt enough time. Luckily the dr office has Saturday appts.
The reason I was so hesitant about going is because I have really lost a lot of faith in the medical profession over the past few years. Its a long drawn out story that I wont bore you all with, but in short our daughter was misdiagnosed with leukemia at 4 weeks old(even though it was a misdiagnosis that I was glad for she was still very sick), and then I also had an extremely painful joint inflammation sickness of some sort which no dr seemed to care about until like my 8th visit... when I was finally just about incapable of walking and taking care of my kids(not exaggerating). By that point my ankles were HUGE from inflammation and I couldnt even bend many of my joints, I had fevers every day and it hurt to just exist. I coudnt even sleep because moving in bed was excrutiating. One dr I saw, while telling her my symptoms had the nerve to tell me I had to make an appt for a physical because she didnt have the time for this. What? She wasnt even in the room for 5 minutes. So there I was just about in tears because I am trying to tell her my symptoms that had come on so quickly and changed my life and that is her response? She doesnt have time? Finally after no help from the several visits to the regular drs, I went to the ER. I was desperate and in so much pain. And after a 7 hour wait (I kid you not) they told me they dont have a rheumatologist on staff at 2 am (I went in at 7pm) and handed me pain pills that did not help one bit. They said they could clearly see how much pain I was in and felt bad for me. Seriously? For so many weeks I felt helpless and was in so much pain because no one took the time to help me. However, the ER did give me a referral to a rheumatologist which I had to make an appt myself and finally caught a break when there was a cancellation the next week. Otherwise I would have had to wait several months. Seriously???????????? It was probably almost 2 months before I saw a dr who while he was not overly friendly, he took the time to hear me out and relieved my pain and did further testing.
So...in my head, here is how I think it will play out tomorrow: I will be sitting on the little exam bed, the NP will come in with all of 2 minutes allowed to spend with me, barely listen to what I have to say, maybe take an x-ray, tell me its not broken and to go home. In which time I will go back home and suffer for more time until I have to go back again because it isnt getting better. Maybe after a few visits they will refer me out to a specialist which will also take several weeks, or maybe do an MRI. All this while collecting $20-$40 each visit. Then off to the next patient.
I apologize for being bitter. I truly hope that I am wrong. I would be the first to say so if that is the case. I am generally not a negative person as I hope most of my posts reflect, but the medical field is just a tough thing for me. I dont have a family dr that I love and trust. I wish I did because maybe I wouldnt avoid the visits so much. My hubs must agree because he said he doesnt think the dr will help me. They whiz in and out in less than 5 minutes and that is that. I am just a number, not a real person with a real problem that is affecting my life. I used to have a dr I respected but he no longer takes my insurance :(
Well, that was a deep post...much deeper than intended. But I just wanted to let you all know WHY I have been procrastinating on going. It isnt that I dont care. I truly do. I want so much to get back to running and exercising in general. I have been doing what I can do. Exercise makes me feel good. And like my mom says, even if it does take 10 visits to get somewhere I should at least get the ball rolling and be my own advocate. I am not really the stand up for myself person she is!
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12 comments:
I totally know what you mean by doctors!! I've had some issues and seen many doctors who have basically told me what I DON'T have. Not much help. At all. I stick with my gut for the most part. I hope it all goes well for you though!
To many that would seem like a real big run-on sentence of an excuse for why Jen did not and would not go to the doctor. I actually experienced all of this with her and it is true. I would not have faith if I was told all that negative stuff either. Well, this time the stakes are not as high and you can get an answer for this one. Give me a call and let me know how it goes!
Like Ron, with whom I've never met, know what Jen is talking about. I too was around when things were happening. Isn't it sad how we are supposed to trust and like physicans and feel comfortable that they are going to help us and care about us, yet most of us don't. It seems over the years we are all becoming "numbers" and are no longer patients to our doctors, sad but true. And I hope that not all doctors are like this and that someone out there doesn't feel this way. I'm beginning to wonder myself if it's time to find a new doctor. Maybe one that's not part of a big group. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe if you find a doctor that only has one, maybe two other doctors in the group treatment would be better. Hmmm, something to think about. In any event, good luck with "how do you say"....your appointment! (Inside joke-Jen knows what I mean) :)
Well, I am glad that you guys saw it the same way i did! I just got worse and worse until someone took the time to care. And KAren, I was thinking that same thing. Might be time to find a new dr. We both go to the same practice and its good to know I am not alone in my feelings! They are just too big I think and easy to get lost in the shuffle. Its great to be able to get an appt if you need it quickly but I guess it really isnt that great if the care you are getting makes you never want to go there and as bitter as I am...right?!
You are so right!!!
I completely understand your frustration. There is nothing worse than, when you know that something is wrong, but noone will listen and help.
I hope you do get the help you need, and that you will soon be back to 100 percent again.
JRFrugalMom
The Fit & Frugal Challenge
I started going into those walk in places that have all the facilities required in house. This way, I could get the xrays, bloodwork, etc. that I needed. If something comes up, then I go book an appointment.
Cheers,
Missa
LosingEthel
I think you should all move to Canada and use our health system!!! The waits are long though. Glad you're back Jennifer. I've missed you.
Jen, can you send me your e-mail address?
Ann
cozyintexas@yahoo.com
I am so sorry you have had bad experiences. Unfortunately, it's a money making business and has nothing to do with caring for people. They will only schedule time for one thing and expect you to come back for anything that is over and above what they have allocated time for. That way they get paid two office visits rather than one. You have to persevere if you think something isn't right. I'm thinking of you.
As for the system in Canada, be careful what you wish for. I grew up in England and with socialized medicine you have to fight even harder. There is no monetary incentive for them to take care of you. Be prepared to wait for 6months to a year for needed surgery.
Ann
Yeah, well try wearing a cast for 6 weeks during the summer heat only to find out it was NEVER broken! My foot is STILL not fixed and I have been going to dr after dr since March. I feel your pain!
wow...and here I was thinking I was the only one feeling like this about the healthcare system. Thanks for the validation :)
Ann-sent you my email to your email.
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