Sunday, May 1, 2011

A little shopping and my "big girl" mentality (Jennifer)

I did a little shopping this weekend.  Since I have lost some weight I have really begun to love shopping again.  Its such a different experience to shop for "normal" sized clothing as opposed to the plus size clothes I used to have to wear.  When I started Medifast a few weeks ago I would say I was comfortably wearing a size 14.  And since its that time of the month for me I felt like I would be lucky to fit in a size 14 when I went shopping yesterday.  I grabbed some things and despite how bloated and big I felt, only the size 12 stuff fit!  There was one point when I held up a size 12 capris and put them down and said to my friend, "wow, these look really little".  She grabbed them and threw them in our pile and told me I had to try them.  So I did, and dont you know they turned out the be the best thing I put on! 

Then there was another great experience.   I walked by a cute pair of pants and they caught my eye.  I went back to look at them and realized that they were a size 12, but that they were tapered on the bottom.  That is not a good look on me...  So I moved on and continued looking.  A few minutes later I see this skinny girl looking at the pants.  She picked them up and brought them into the dressing room.  I almost fell over.  I went running over to my friend and told her what I had saw and asked her how could it be that she is such a "little thing" and we were looking at the same size pants?  This made me realize that I still struggle with a *big girl* mentality, even after losing so much weight.  I look in the mirror and even though I have lost a large chunk of weight(65 ish lbs), I only see a smaller version of the *big girl* me.  I still have an awful midsection with stretch marks and surgery scars.  I still have a HUGE FUPA(the area below my belly button that literally hangs off the front of my body) that the doctors have clearly told me will only go away with surgery.  It is very noticable.  I still have cellulite on my legs.  So, while I am a smaller version, I still see the same me.  Does that make sense?  I once showed a friend my FUPA and she said "wow,  I didnt know you had that".   I work very hard to hide it.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*I cant wait to get below 160 and see what changes my body will have.  160 is the lowest I have gotten in this journey so anything below that is new territory.  I cant wait!

Today I am thankful for:
* my friend who I went shopping with.  True friends really are hard to come by so when I do, I am so appreciative.


Enz said...

Congratulations on the smaller size.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

VERY Cool! Size 12 WOOO HOOO girl!! So exciting.



The Fat Mom said...

I think I will ALWAYS struggle with mentality of being the big girl. I've almost lost 40 pounds, and I still don't see it. What happens with I lose 50, 60, 70, etc pounds? Will I still see the 340 pound fat chick?

Congrats on the size 12! And that's an awesome friend to have while make you try on things that you think won't fit.

MB said...

Thanks for visiting so I could find you. There is always going to be something we don't like about our bodies but the trick is to accentuate the positive and not worry about the skin or stretch marks or whatever it is. It's strange how long it takes our minds to catch up with the changes in our bodies. I look at the clothes I'm wearing now and think I couldn't get one thigh in there. I could really use a size 11 these days. The 12s are a little big and the 10s are a bit small. Good luck on reaching new territory. I'll be cheering for you ;)

LauraAnn said...

Congrats on SIZE 12!!!! I love your blog so much! I am on DAY ONE of MF right now.... the hours are dragging by! I am so use to having snacks in my drawer.

I am so happy for you and know you will get to your goal!

LauraAnn said...
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Desert Singer said...

What a GREAT DAY you had!!! I'm looking forward to the day where I'm wearing the smallest sizes in the large-size store (usually there are the most of those left on the racks...) - back to an 18/20 would be terrific for me.

It does take a long time for our brains to believe that we are truly smaller... after so many years of not being thinner. Give it time, look in the mirror each day and affirm how awesome you are, how far you've come and what a great journey you're on :-)

Jen said...

My Mom took me shopping when I hit the 159 mark, I cried when I tried on size 8 capris and they fit and were almost too big!!! That being said, I still had some lovely flab hanging down because of c-sections and still didn't think I had lost that much weight. I can't wait to get down to that size again.


Sue said...

Jen, I feel honored to be mentioned in your blog, thank you. But your blog is about you and gaining back (pun on words, hehe) your self-confidence. Keep up the good work and put that big girl mentality behind you, just think about that big girl towel in my closet that you no longer "have" to use. It's all about choices and you are making all the right ones. Love, mom