Monday, November 29, 2010

Disgusted (Jennifer)

For the holiday weekend I went home to visit my family.  The hubs and I ran a 5K turkey Trot (see last post) and it was a great time.  I had decided that I would let myself enjoy a little of the holiday food, but I had no intention of eating the way I did.  And, although it wasnt nearly as bad as the Old Jen would have eaten, I ate things I havent had in ages.  It was a choice I made.  I didnt feel out of control or anything.  It was more like I wanted to let myself enjoy for the holiday. I had some wine, cookies, cake, dip, pie....So while I was home visiting with this person and that person I made bad choices.   And my tummy paid the price for it.  I cant believe how awful the food left me feeling!  But, I knew I could and would get back on track if I gained a few lbs.

A few pounds??? 

No.

I am disgusted to say that after eating like crap for 4 days, the scale says I am up 7 lbs from last week.  Yup, 7.  My husband was like shocked when I got on the scale.  He said I didnt deserve that amount of weight.  I am honestly not sure what it is with me that if I stray from my allowed reduced calorie range my body revolts.  The hubs and I discussed it a bit and wonder if my body is still in starvation mode with 1500 calories I have been allowing.  That would make sense that when I go over it for a few days I put on large amounts of weight very quickly.  That is just what was happening when I was taking in 1200 calories. 

So, I am changing my calories to about 1600 per day and I will keep up with my exercise.  I am thinking this will be good for now.  I am happy, yet ashamed, to say that on Wendesday morning before we left town I did a sneak peek at the scale and saw 159.  I was overjoyed!  I had been waiting for this number for what seemed like forever!  So really since Wednesday the scale is up 8 lbs. 

Despite all of this it never once even crossed my mind to give up and go back to the Old Jen.  That is not an option..  I am more ticked that I undid my hard work and have to redo it!!!  But, that is just what I will do.  I am going to the weight class at the gym in a little while, and since it will be in the 40's today (whoo hoo!!!) I can plan a run too.

I did complete most of my goals that I set for myself to complete by Thanksgiving.  I completed my 25 mile goal that I set back on Nov 2.  The turkey trot 5K completed it!!!  Here is a pic of me on the way home after the race(Karen-your before/afters were way better!  Missed you!)  I felt accomplished!  


This accomplished feeling when I exercise is what I choose to hold onto.  Its who I want to be!

17 comments:

Christine said...

First off, BIG HUGS!!!!

Secondly, the scale is NOT a true testament to the weekend in this case.

There is no way that you are actually up 7 pounds in real weight. That gain only reflects water retention that your body is holding on to because of food it is not use to processing anymore.

Realistically you would have had to ate something like 24,500 extra calories on top of your daily required amount...I don't think you did that!!!!

Give your body a couple of days to process and you will see on the scale if there really is any damage from the weekend.

Enjoy your day!!!!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I agree with everything Christine said!
And I love your attitude about what you are choosing to hang on to. Seriously, you have come so far and it's major awesome that you reached your running goal, you rockstar you!
Just a bump in the road, 'mdear!!
Rock on!

~Margene

Jessica said...

Oh girl...I am sorry you are ticked at yourself! You shouldn't be! This is a long journey...I mean really, does it ever end? When we get to our goal weight, we will begin the maintenance journey, right? In my opinion (and I am sure many disagree) once we have made the commitment to ourselves ...it is okay to enjoy a few days of holiday food, if you pick right back up(and it doesn't trigger binges). Of course, every week can't be a special occasion that leads to extra eating, but if once (or twice) a year you want a slice of pumpkin pin and a glass of egg nog, I think it is fine. You just have to keep moving and and get back on track. Which you are doing!

jennifer said...

Yeah, you totally didn't gain 7 pounds...I'm with Christine, it isn't mathematically possible. I'm thinking that your sodium intake over the weekend was probably through the roof compared to what it normally is and that made your body retain water. But in any case, props for the attitude!! That attitude is WHY you've lost so much weight to begin with and WHY its going to stay off permanently, holidays be damned!!! You're a huge inspiration to me...really and truly, you rock!
www.iamabeginnerrunner.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

I totally agree with what Jessica said ~ great name, BTW ;)
If we label foods "good" and "bad" and never allow ourselves the bad, we're setting ourselves up for failure. It's a lifestle change and allowing a few days off here and there is no big deal.
Having said that, there is no way you gained 7 (or 8) lbs of FAT over just a few days. It's not possible. It's probably inflamation and water weight from the swift change in the type of foods you ate.
Also, about calories, I use the livestrong website (livestrong.com) it used to be the daily plate. It's a free program, you enter a few questions about yourself and they tell you the number of calories to eat each day based on your goal and pretty much every food you could think of is in their data base, so you just type in the food and how much you ate and it does all of the figuring for you.
With all of the working out you are doing, I suspect even 1600 calories is probably not enough for you. Maybe on teh days you don't work out, but you need more calories on your workout days to fuel your workouts and make you stronger :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog, BTW. I was just on my way here when I saw your comment!
~Jessica
http://healthyfor100.blogspot.com

Lesia said...

YEP Christine is right on this! Stopping by to say Hi and to smile.

ihearteggs said...

Just came across your blog and have to say I love yoru honesty and your drive! I know how hard it is to keep pushing on when the scale is up, but you can do this!

Jessica said...

PS...Glad you are joining me for the "Merry-thon!"

Hannah Banana said...

Hi Jennifer. For starters I want to encourage you. You deserve to be able to deviate from your controled calories from time to time and make that choice. So don't beat yourself up for that. I do things like that too. Secondly, I echo all the comments that say you would NOT have gained 7lbs in fat. Seriously, know that that result is not a true indication. After a blowout like that, I am always up high. You have water retention, salt plus the food actually WEIGHS in your body. Give yourself a few days, re-weigh yourself, and THAT will be a better indication. You must be feeling pretty damn annoyed at your bodies ability to fluctuate so high. I have a body that can do that. But then I can eat lightly the next two days and be lower than where I was BEFORE the blow out. My body tends to deal with extremes. lol

Karen said...

If the run was closer...I would have been there!

KellyNY said...

Jennifer - deep breath. It's not 7 whole pounds of fat. It's sodium, some fat, & water. The next few days, chug more water than you would normally. Track everything you eat, and get the workouts in. Those 7 lbs. will be history in no time.

I Said So... said...

I do that too. Have to relose weight I already lost! UGH!!! Why, oh, why!!! Well, I'm proud of you anyway. At least you didn't give up. There was a time when we would have, right?

You look awesome by the way!!!!
What a great hubby, too.

I'm running the 26.1 with you. Can you believe it???? Me??? Wish me luck.

J

dawne said...

Awww Jennifer!

The scale is so unkind and I agree with Christine about hte retention etc. So, eat well for the next week, drink lots and lots of water and the scale will go down!

Don't let that number throw you off!

Shelley said...

Well, I don't think you really gained 7 pounds, but you DID gain a wake up call...it's amazing how going back to our old ways of eating can mess us up so quickly, both mentally and physically. But, you are the new Jen, and I like how you've not let this derail your journey. Keep up the good work! :)

Shelley said...

Hey, glad I could inspire you to keep going on the treadmill this morning - and 6.6 miles is great! For me, a good time for a 10K is around 1:12 - I'd say double your 5K time, but I get slower the more miles I do...what was your time?

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