Tough Times (Teresa)

Yes I am still here....It has been a really tough few weeks for me, but I wanted to find the time to blog! I have been under a ton of stress and I am trying really hard not to deal with it the way I always have.....with food. I must say I have done pretty good! Thank God because I do not think I could handle the stress of eating too! I did gain a pound last week but hey it happens. This week I am down 2.5 pounds, but I can really only count it as 1.5 since I gained last week. The weather is really nice and school is winding down. I cannot wait to have a week off before summer school starts. I need some time to myself. I went to a wedding this weekend and I all I could think about while I was getting ready was how I could not wait to actually dress up without having to wear Spanx under my dress. Ugh...the small things in life.

How? (Jennifer)

I am sure at some point or another that most obese people stop and ask themselves how they got "this way".  Today I was trying on a bathing suit at the store.  And as most of us know, finding the right one isnt usually easy.  And being overweight, even when I find "the one" I am sure I am not going to be thrilled and think I look hot in it.  But anyway, today I tried on a few bathing suits and it was an awful experience.  I had just tried on a few other things that fit great and I was happy with what I saw.  But then the bathing suits came and all of a sudden I saw all this hanging and sagging and stretch marks. etc.   And it was at that very moment when I said, "wow.  HOW had I let things get so out of hand?"  Did I not look in a mirror for years?  No, that wasnt it.  Did I wake up one day and it was all there?  Nope.  It took a lot of time and bad habits to get me where I was.  When times were tough I ate.  And times were tough a lot the last few years.  And I ate things that made me feel better while I was eating them.   And now that I am about 55 lbs down from my highest weight I hope that I can see my accomplishments and keep the strength to continue on to help myself.  Even though I sometimes see the areas I need to work on, I mostly as a whole see that I am working on me and that feels great. I usually see how far I have come and that is a much better feeling.  And along the way I am meeting some great people and learning and experiencing a lot of new and different things. 

Today's reason to lose weight:
*to have A positive experience when shopping for a bathing suit.  That would be awesome.  I hope I can find "the one".

Today I am thankful for:
*Our troops.  Past and Present.  Those who put their lives on the line for US to be able to live our everyday lives.  It popped in my head today while in the car that it is a holiday weekend and how I am grateful and how more people should be.  And then I looked up and saw flags on every street light as we were going down the road.  It was awesome, and I guess I just needed to take the time to notice.

Week 13 (Tricia)

Today was my week 13 weigh in and I am down 4.4lbs. I am really excited about this since my last few weigh-ins have been somewhat lacking. I am around 3lbs from making my mini-goal of 50. Sigh..my mini-goal is 50.
I was watching biggest loser the other night and was so shocked at how different Shay looked from the last time we saw her and she was down 54lbs. And then I wondered...Do I look that different? I certainly feel different in the way I walk and move around etc. And I know that I am different because there are parts of me that I can actually see now and bones that I found that have been hiding under my rolls. I also know I do look different...but how much?
Jennifer was smart enough to take before photos, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because I didn't want to look at them. I don't like pictures as it is because I am embarrassed about how I look in them. Somewhere inside of me I like to think I am not that big...until BAM! A friend posts a horrifying picture on facebook and you beg them to take it down. And I am thinking about it now how I would like to have those pictures to compair to my thinner self, but I change my mind because I don't want to see how far I still have to go, the scale is a reminder every week. I seem to be lost somewhere between how far I have come and how far I have to go. As I have said in recent posts, I have had some trouble staying focused and excited about my diet. I have never really been one for binge eating, but over the past few weeks I have had the worst time fighting the urge to walk into the pantry and shovel food in my mouth. I don't of course, but it is on my mind all the time. I know that I will always have to be monitoring my weight and what I eat, but will I ever lose those urges? I hope so, because they are wearing me down!

The car (Jennifer)

Today my husband and I took the girls to the beach for a few minutes on the way to meet my inlaws for dinner.  I was in the passenger seat and after about a half hour I looked down and realized that I had room!  My thighs were not overflowing the seat.  My arms were not smooshed into the console.  And my legs were crossed?  In the car?  I am not sure I have ever done that.  This is just one of those simple things that really was a big deal for me.  I love to come across these little "big" things that make life a little more pleasant.  I had never felt like I was uncomfortable in the car or anything, but now that I have the extra room it feels good!

Today I went to the gym again.  This whole gym thing is such a change for me.  I have never been a gym person but it just feels different for me this time.  I met with a trainer which was provided with my membership.  And I think this has made all the difference.  Otherwise I would be totally lost which is why I had never wanted to join before.  What is the point of wandering around aimlessly not knowing how to use any of the machines.  But I met with her and she told me what to do and it was just what I needed.  She told me to do 30 minutes of cardio and the two ab machines every time I go in.  Then I alternate between upper body and lower body.  The machines used to look intimidating to me but now that I was taught to use them and at what weight I dont feel so overwhelmed.  There are women of all ages, shapes and sizes there.  And that makes it more comfortable too.  I never feel looked down on. 

Yesterday Karen and I did Zumba.  It was fun and interesting to see how it differs from my normal class and teacher.  I had fun and plan to do it again soon.

Well, I was thinking I hadnt posted yet today, but I did...this morning.  Apparently it has been a long day!!! So on that note...goodnight :)

Week 13 results (Jennifer)

So this week has been an experiment for me.  As I have been posting I have been changing my lunch meal up and either having a salad with grilled chicken and some salad toppings, or some fiber one cottage cheese (for my digestive health  :) .  I did this because I thought my body might be in starvation mode and holding onto the fat because of the exercising I have been doing.  I thought maybe I wasnt putting enough calories in for the amount I was using.  I have been exercising about 4 times a week.  My meal changes and exercise have paid off.  This week I am down 3.5 lbs.  My weight today is 170.5.  Only one more pound and I reach  my mini goal to be in the 160's.  I am pretty excited.

I am excited about my weight loss.  And I have been exercising a lot incorporating both cardio and weights.  It feels great to help myself.  What gets me, though, is that I think I am about the size I was in high school yet I see something soooo different than that in the mirror.  I see a lot of flab(especially abdominal) and feel a lot of jiggling and dimples in my legs.  So I am going to keep up the work and hope these areas improve.  I will say though that I put a bathing suit on the other day and....they were all too big on my butt!  I definately need to get a new one. 

Also, got my biopsy results for the moles.  One was "atypical" and they want to go remove it completely.  In my opinion they should have done that the first time.  I go back in July for that.  That is the next available appt.  That's crazy.  I really dont care for how the medical profession is run these days.  But that is another post...

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to feel comfortable in a bathing suit.  This is totally unheard of for me so we wil see! 

Today I am thankful for:
*Fiber one cottage cheese.  Need I say more?

My appointment (Jennifer)

Today I had my follow up with my gastro dr.  It has been a while since I have seen him, and that is a good thing.  I usually see him when my stomach acts up.  But today was just a follow up.  He is the one who told me they found a fatty liver while also discovering the extremely painful gallstones that had to be removed  about 3 years ago.  He told me to lose weight and hopefully it would be reversible.  It scared me when he was talking about how it could lead to cirrhosis and end stage liver disease and death.  It scared me enough to take action.  I shouldnt have been surprised about the fatty liver because I used to eat fast food probably on  a daily basis at one point.  But I was scared and I really wanted to help myself and take myself off that scary road.  But then I got pregnant again and he told me to focus on the pregnancy and not to lose weight at that time.  Then after she was born she was sick and we had so many challenges and stress, and there just wasnt time for me to take care of me.  Hindsight being 20/20 I know now that I should have made time, not just for my weight, but for the stress management.  So when things "got better" I knew it was time to take time to focus on me and address my new body.  I was pregnant for about 2 years with only 6 months off in between, and it was then that I began having really painful gallbladder attacks and had my gallbladder removed.  So...it has been a pretty challenging few years on my body when you take into account the c-sections too.  Three surgeries in 15 months...4 if you include the tonsils coming out right before I got pregnant with my first!  Wow...I just realized the gravity of that!
Anyway, the last time I saw this dr was when I first started losing weight but had gone on steroids and started gaining it back.  I am probably down at least 30 lbs more than the last time I saw him.  He said he wanted to redo some blood work and reasess my fatty liver.  But honestly, I dont want to.  I kind of want to live in the world of denial right now.  I want to feel like I am helping myself and feel happy doing it.  I dont want to hear that it isnt better, or that there is another problem they happen to stumble upon while looking on the ultrasound, or a problem with the bloodwork.  I just want to avoid it.  I didnt used to be like this but now I am.  It has a tough few years with all the medical stuff that has gone on with our family and I just want to turn off the drama and stress. I want to run from the "drama cloud" that has been following me.  And apparently in my eyes it is best by pure avoidance.  But I will go.  And I will stress, just like I am still stressing over the results of the mole biopsies that she felt she must remove immediately.  I just want to continue on in my happy little "I am helping myself" world where the sky is the limit.  I dont want any setbacks.  It is time for me right now.  I hope that doesnt sound selfish but it has just been a tough few years. 

Wow, that turned into quite a therapeutic post for me.  I hope I have not bored you all.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to continue to have this self pride I have been feeling.  It really beats beating myself up for eating what I want and then feeling bad about it after...again and again and again.

Today I am thankful for:
*going out to lunch with my family.  It was so hot that my husband decided he didnt want to be in this house anymore(hopefully this will help him to get the AC guy here quicker).  I have told you how awful it gets in this house.  So we went to Ruby Tuesdays for lunch where I got turkey burger minis.  I ate the mini burgers with no buns, and pickles and salad from the salad bar.  Yumm.  Today I did not have two regular meals.  I am still full from lunch!

WHEW! (Tricia)

Well people, its 93 in upstate NY and humid. Summer is back a little early this year. And I am just going to put it out there..I hate the heat. Really, the humidity on top of the heat. My little feet swell up and I get cranky because I am a human radiator. My face gets red, I sweat like a piglet ( I say piglet because they are cuter, however, there is nothing cute about Tricia in the heat), and I radiate the heat off of my body. And like Jennifer, the bigger I got the more I hated the heat. The sweating, the sticking, the constant urge to hose yourself down in the front yard. (If I was skinny, I would totally do it.) Remember when we were kids and nothing bothered us? We could be out all day in sub-zero weather sledding or ice-skating or out riding our bikes and playing until the sun went down in the scorching heat. How did we ever deal with the high temperatures 30 years ago? We ran through sprinklers. We filled the inflatable kiddy pool and dragged grass and mud into it. We hurled ourselves down slip and slides-or if your parents didn’t have money, a make-shift slip and slide with black trash bags- everyone take a moment and get a mental image of that..now giggle. And, if it was a weekend, we occasionally got to go to the town park and share the pool with 3000 other people..and their pee (you know you totally did it). When the heck did we grow out of that? Oh...right, with the creation of central air. Or rather in my case..an air-conditioning unit in every available window. I really have gotten to the point where I like to stay inside when it’s hot. I have gotten accustomed to spending more time inside than out in the summer because of how I feel and more so, how I look. All of the women out there in their cute little tops and their shorts make me feel so self conscious and jealous. I feel like a stay-puff marshmallow woman trying to keep all of her fat into the clothes I have on. I feel anxious that because of the heat, I have to remove my winter clothes from my closet. Those clothes that keep my swinging arm fat secure under long sleeve sweaters, those pants that hide my thigh dimples, and the layers that I convince myself hide my rolls. Not to mention the dread I feel when I hear on the news that the weather is getting warmer, praying to the summer Gods that SOMETHING still fits me from last year. And God forbid a bathing suit! And, on the first nice weekend of the year, I pull out my shorts, and maybe a tee and look at myself in the mirror with disgust. UGH! Did I look that way last year? Well, I guess a nice day of sitting on the couch so no one can see me is in order. I have come accustomed to reflecting on the activities that I won’t do because of my size or embarrassment, that I really have left nothing for myself to enjoy. No walks on a summer evening, no water or amusement parks, no picnics at Thatcher park, not even sitting outside at my patio set under the umbrella sipping lemonade and reading a good book. Nope, instead I plop on the couch.
I do have a point to this and it is not just that I am having a pity party or being a Debby Downer. I have decided that I need a new hobby. A hobby that I can do outdoors this summer and one that I enjoy doing. Now the trick is just to find one…So, I am putting a question out there to all of our followers-What is a good summer activity that is fun and will keep me outside and interested?

Handling it okay? (Jennifer)

The central air is not in yet.  The guy actually hasnt even been here yet but my husband promises soon.  Having said that...today is one of those really hot and humid days.  It could be worse I guess but being only spring it takes a little time to get used to the heat again after our harsh winters here.  I have mentioned a few times in past posts that I am not a real "happy" girl in the heat since our house windows dont hold any window AC units or even fans for that matter.  So I am trying to get by on the ceiling fans and free standing fans. 

And then I realized...I am handling this just fine!  Yes, its a little uncomfortable but I have NOT been miserable at all today.  Instead, I went to the store this morning, bought a little pool for the yard and we hung out in it today.  The girls just love it.  Then, even though it was hot, I went to my Zumba class where I knew there would be no air conditioning and I would sweat like a pig.  And I did.  There were sweat drops on the floor...ewwww.   But I was prepared.  I brought my little washcloth (like I see some people do at the gym and I am being a copy cat) and my water.  And then when I got there my friend had brought me a water too.  What a nice gesture.  See...it is the little things in life that mean so much.  But back to the Zumba thing...I was sweating like a pig and ENJOYING it?!?!  Wow.  Who am I and where is the old Jen?  Hopefully she is long gone.  I handled the heat well today!  Now that is a success :)

Today when I got up I got on the scale.  I am normally a once a week weigher but since I have changed some things up at my lunch meal to add some calories, I wanted to see how it is affecting me.  I was SOOOOOOOOO excited to see that it said I was down 3 lbs from Thursday(which showed a  1 lb gain).  So at this point I am going to keep it going. 

I would like to say thanks to John over at http://taking-it-off-for-life.blogspot.com/ .  I recently started following his blog and I really like it.  Today, he was kind enough to give me an award for this blog!  He wrote some very nice things and I feel honored.  Thanks again John (and please enjoy the added image now that I know how  :)

 Today's reason for losing weight:
*to be able to "handle" other situations(as I come across them) that in the past when I was heavier would have made me cranky.


Today I am thankful for:
*my ceiling fans and free standing fans.  Yup...no doubt.
*and also that my husband cooked dinner tonight while I was at zumba.  And then he did the dishes!  What a guy :)

Week 12 (Tricia)

Hi Everyone!
Well, my week 12 weigh-in went ok. I am down 2lbs. But between last week and this week, that is only a 3lb loss, something that I am used to in 1 week. I am a little disappointed that my loss has slowed, and I feel that it shouldn't. I am a long way from being on a plateau. However, I have changed a few things. I have been a little more permissive with my meals than I should. Ok, I will say it. I had a turkey burger with a bun. I know I shouldn't have and its really my first time doing it. It made me very nervous. Like it was my gate-way drug. One wrong choice will lead to another and I am concerned. I have dedicated myself to get back on track fast so there won't be another slip up.
Also, over the past two weeks I have been working out hard. I was trying to build up my endurance for the 5k to make sure I could do it. But that meant an hour or more working out, and I don't think I was really eating enough to compensate for that.
I have started to slack on my water too. This is really crucial on the plan and while exercising, but I have not been drinking enough as I should.
So, all of these combined, I am sure, has led to my small weight losses. I have to get back on track and remember why I am here to begin with, to be healthy and to tackle my weight problem. I have to re-focus and get motivated again to keep going. I have to remind myself about how far I have come, but also how much further I have to go.
To add to my disappointment, I did complete the walk on Thursday, but I didn't do the whole thing. My friend wore new shoes and ended up getting blisters on her feet and we ended up cutting through the park and taking about a half mile off of the walk. Really, that is the excuse I have been telling myself. The truth really is that being on the elliptical for 3.5 miles is completely different than walking 3.5miles and I didn't have the stamina to do it. I couldn't do it. It makes me sad to write those words as much as it does to think them. But, there is always next time for me to kick butt, and I guess the important thing is that I got out there, I did my best, and I completed most of it. Even though a little part of me is embarrassed and disappointed.

Privileged (Jennifer)

Although I have been concerned over whether my recent choice to add a few more calories to my lunch meal is the right one, I have to say that I feel so privileged and extremely satisfied after my lunch. I have been doing Medifast for over 12 weeks now and really the only time I struggle is around lunch time. I have always said that if I could eat something a little more "lunchy" I probably wouldnt feel like this plan is such a drastic change. To have a salad with a little bagged toppings that I love(about 10 carbs for 2 tbsp and 90 calories) and some nice grilled chicken for calories and protein leaves me excited to eat it and very satisfied when I am done. With the salad dressing I am eating around the same amount of carbs I would be if I were eating a MF meal but with just more calories and protein. I also have to say that my other digestive "issue" seems to be appreciating my change. I still have a sense of guilt and a cheating feeling which I am hoping to get over if the scale shows me good things on Thursday. I know I shouldnt put so much emphasis on the scale but I just want to make sure I am doing right by my body.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to learn to appreciate the foods that are good for my body. Instead of always grabbing for the things that I was used to, I would like to learn to enjoy the healthy foods out there and feel privileged to be eating them. Doing Medifast has definately helped me to appreciate "real food". I was just telling Teresa the other day that I would feel so privileged having some fresh fruit or a yogurt.

Today I am thankful for:

*my hummingbirds. I put the feeder out about a week ago after our long winter and they are using it. They are just such beautiful birds. And I have to say that the ones this year are different than the ones I had last year. They seem to be smaller and very bold. They dont care if the feeder is 1 foot from my head. They come right up to it. It gives me a great view and it is totally fascinating. The other day I literally had to duck because I heard the "buzz" just above my head, and yesterday my friend Ron said they were attack birds...haha. Anyway, such a simple thing in life brings me so much joy :)

All confused. And a little stressed (Jennifer)

We had a nice fire in the yard last night with some friends which was nice. But we went to bed pretty late and for some reason I was wide awake around 6:00 this morning. So here I am...

Yesterday I made a decision. I made the decision to stay on Medifast but to ATTEMPT to alter it to a way that will work best for me. Obviously when I exercise the weight doesnt come off. I either gain or lose just a little. And over the past several weeks when I account for my gain last week the scale hasnt budged much. After compiling my thoughts, feelings, and research, and you better believe I did my research, I came up with this. I am enjoying exercising and I dont want to part with it. I for the first time in I think ever I am enjoying exercise and I am capable. Mostly I am capable of it mentally. I always had a mental block that EXERCISE=EVIL. haha. But anyway, I figured there has to be a way to alter this plan to make it work for me. Or at least attempt to. So I have decided to add a few more calories into my diet while still following the plan itself. I am going to attempt something like the 4 and 2 plan(which actually does exist)instead of the 5 and 1 plan. So for lunch yesterday I had salad with chicken in it. Pretty much a second lean and green. I will keep up with the exercise since I feel it is good for my body and mind. I hope to benefit from the extra calories and also from the extra veggies with the hope of helping my digestive "issue". And while I have made this decision and started with it yesterday, I am scared. Stressed. Confused. Even though I did my research and tried to think this through I am scared I made the wrong choice. But it is just a week of deviation and if it doesnt work I will go back to MF 5 and 1. But only the scale will tell come Thursday.


Have a nice weekend everyone!

Week 12 results (Jennifer)

Well.....I am happy to say that the fiber one cottage cheese did the trick. However, the scale was not pretty this morning and in turn has made me very cranky. I GAINED a pound is what that awful thing said. Seriously?????? After exercising 4 times this week I GAINED a pound? All that sweat and I gained????????? As you can tell, this a true vent session and I apologize for that. I doubt if the cottage cheese is what did it (other than the sodium maybe since it is pretty high in my opinion) because the calories and fat and carbs were around the same as a MF meal. So I really cant say that is what it is. I know I was slacking a bit on my water but I am positive I got my 64 required oz in a day. Usually I have well over 100 oz a day. So...that leaves the exercise. So the exercise put me into starvation mode? But yet I feel good, body and mind, when I exercise. I am at a loss for what to do next. Period. Like I said...cranky, and I have a head cold :(

Jennifer

An executive decision and TMI (Jennifer)

I apologize right off the bat if this is TMI for some of you. But I feel it must be explained in order to rationalize my decision. I am going to continue on with MF as I said I was going to. However, I have been having some "issues" in the digestive department for several weeks now. Actually, I have always had issues but have always been able to keep it under control with diet and such. But with MF it seems a little more difficult since you are so limited in the foods you can eat. I know the bars and shakes and all the food really are supposed to have enough fiber, but apparently it is not enough for me. I have tried to "help" myself by drinking more water, more lettuce, etc. But all of this and no success. I told myself that something has to give. I have to do something because I just cant be this uncomfortable anymore. So.... I decided to replace 1 MF meal a day with some fiber one cottage cheese. I calculated and if I have two servings it is 160 calories, 4gr fat, 10 grams of fiber, and 16 carbs, and 20 protein. So I figure with the kids taking bits of my serving it would even be a little less. The way I see it is that this meal is pretty comparable to a MF meal other than not having all the vitamins of a MF meal. Anyway, I decided to give this a whirl yesterday and today and see how it goes. but like I said, I really feel like I have to do something. I am not going to feel all guilty and like I am going off plan. ACtually, I feel it is just the opposite. I am trying to help myself out so I can actually STAY ON plan and feel good.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*Today at the gym I was doing the hip machine. You sit on it and push your thighs out. Except you are kinda laying back a bit. This was NOT a pretty sight in the mirror, or looking down at my belly for that matter. Actually, it was awful :( I would appreciate to see something a little more attractive with some more weight loss.

Today I am grateful for:
*not being attacked by the dog across the street on our walk/jog last night. He came running at us (Sugar was on a leash) and would not leave Sugar alone. He was still on her as we were walking away and he was even growling. I must say Sugar handled herself well. Anyway, I decided to start running and the dog finally left us alone. We went a different way than our usual walk/jog, and when I checked the mileage after with the car I ran 1.3 miles and walked the same! Yaay! That is .3 more miles jogging than I have ever done. And that I am thankful for as well :)

On my way (Tricia)

Happy Tuesday everyone!
Well, following my little weight loss on Friday, I stuck to my diet pretty seriously over the weekend. I made some s'mores cupcakes for a co-worker last night and again resisted the urge to bury my face in the bowl of chocolate batter. I also went to the gym last night and worked on my stamina for the 5 K coming up on Thursday evening.
Today, I had my routine apt. and left work early. I was happy to find out that I was down 3lbs since Friday, but I am not getting my hopes up because it wasn't MY scale. Also, my blood pressure is a lot lower than it was, not that I had a big problem to begin with when I started, but I wanted to make sure it got back down to where it belonged and it was. I was also given the go-ahead to start trying for a little one.
And, now for the personal stuff. I have wanted to have a baby for some time now, but I was always concerned about my weight. Even though my doctor said it was fine for me to have a baby when I was 40+ lbs heavier, I really didn't want to put my body or a baby through the possible complications from being that overweight. I didn't want to be a mom that couldn't get down on the floor to play with her baby because I was concerned about how I was going to get up. I didn't want to be a mom that was too lazy to run around with her kids. I didn't want to be a mom that got teased because his/her mom was fat. I still don't want those things. So now that I am on my way to a better me, my husband and I decided it was time to start this process, which I know will be a long one. Today's appointment was really monumental for me.
And, back to the not-so-personal stuff. After my appointment, I went back to work to use the gym. I was waiting for my friends to get out of work to grab a nice dinner together. I surprised myself and kept on pushing until I had been on the elliptical for over an hour and had gone a little over 3.5 miles. Another huge step for me. I had a great dinner with the girls and I am now settled in for an evening with the hubby. T-minus two days until the 5K. It might take me awhile, but I will finish this walk. They may have to carry me back to the car, but I will cross that finish line. I have faith in myself and my friends to keep me going.

Today's reason for my weight loss- to have a healthy and beautiful baby. *tear*

The gym (Jennifer)

I posted last week about how I joined the gym. I was a little hesitant for a few reasons. I have never been a gym type person. I dont know much about fitness, and I dont like to make a spectacle of myself especially when I was at my heavier weight. And until recently, I have always HATED exercise. I was lazy for sure. And it was uncomfortable to do at a heavier weight. But I know that toning is something that I really want to do, especially now that I have lost some weight. And this is a women's gym and that is nice.

So I went and met with my trainer for the first visit. This, in my opinion, is an excellent bonus that they include in my 3 month membership. She had a piece of paper with all sorts of info that she was writing down. Before any of the machines, she took my measurements and also my BMI and %body fat. I thought these were the same and that right there shows you just how much I (dont)know about fitness. My BMI was 28.8 and my %body fat was 33.8. She said my BMI should be around 25 or so but I was so excited that it was no longer 39 like when I was heavier. Then she said that the 33.8% body fat was not bad at all because the high end of of normal is actually 33. ME??? Almost normal? I am not sure about that. That will take some time to sink in. I cant remember being at a normal weight, or happy with my weight.

Then we started on the machines. I started on the treadmill for 10 minutes. She told me to do a speed that challenged me but not to overdo it. So I did. I set the incline and walked on a 3.8 or 4mph. I will say this...I used to have to JOG at 4mph. I was proud of myself fr my brisk walk. And I had confidence. The treadmills were set up in front of a mirror. At first I thought I wouldnt like that but to my surprise I found myself pleased with what I saw. I was going, my arms moving, I even broke a sweat and was so proud to see myself working out. I had a new shirt that I love on so that may have helped some too :) After 10 minutes she brought me over to the eliptical machine. And I was pretty surprised by how doing this machine made me feel. I could feel it in my thighs. Almost like doing a squat? It was harder than the treadmill but I loved it. I did my 10 minutes on there and then she came back and brought me to the stair climber(it is actually moving stairs that you have to keep up with). They do have the jacob's ladder there like on the Biggest Loser and maybe someday I will be motivated to try it. But I got on the stairs and that was a tough one too I thought! I kept tripping for some reason but eventually got it down. And I think that both the eliptical and stair climber each burned around 100 calories each in just the 10 minutes I did them. I liked changing it up.

Then we went to do some of the weight training machines. She said that every time I go to the gym I shoudld be doing 30-60 minutes of cardio and the 2 ab machines. Then I can choose to do upper or lower body if I want to. My abs are in dire need of help and I am not sure they are even "helpable" after two kids who severely stretched my skin(and not to mention the surgeries that played a roll in how gross my tummy looks). The ab machines were tough. Like nothing I have ever seen or done before. She said my abs will tone up fast and I will be able to change the weights before I know it. We'll see about that. Then we did some bicep and tricep curls on another machine. She told me to look in the mirror because I could see the muscles working. And she was right! She said some people cant see the muscles working from underneath their weight. It made me proud of my 53 lbs lost so far :). My arms had gotten heavier but they were never one of the areas of huge concern to me. Although I did see the stretch marks that I hadnt realized were there.

And that was it for the exercise. I will learn the rest of the lower body machines tomorrow. We went over some nutrtional stuff which I found to be quite interesting and helpful. For example, one meal included 1 piece of toast, 2 oz of meat, a fruit, cottage cheese, etc. All of that for one meal? And it was only a 1200 calorie/day plan. It made me realize just how grateful I will be to have a sandwich (even if it is half), or fruit, or anything more than just a tiny meal like I am eating now on MF. She said that if I am going to be going to the gym 3-4 times a week like I plan she would even suggest 1400 calories a day. Wow. And they too want you to eat a good snack between meals for 5-6 meals a day. My hope is that I wont go overboard and that I will feel privileged to eat other foods like bread and fruit, etc when the day comes.

I will post tomorrow about how my second trip to the gym went. And today I am getting more sore as the hours go on from my weight training yesterday.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to attempt to get my stomach into way better shape. I will NEVER wear a bikini and I try to keep my expectations real. There is just to much stretched skin for that to ever be a possibiity, but there is no reason I cant make it look better when wearing clothes! There doest have to be rolls, right?

Today I am grateful for:
*my MF food that came today. I was running really low and now feel more prepared.

Have a nice day everyone!

Tough day (Jennifer)

Today was a frustrating one for me. I was hungry for most of the day and found myself waiting for my next meal just about all day. Luckily, this doesnt happen too often. But when it does it is hard. I am not sure what brings on these days but if I did I would surely change whatever it is! The problem is this...with my hunger also comes those feelings of doubt I have been talking about lately. Not really the doubt of Medifast and whether it works (because I know it does) but the doubt in ME to continue. But even with the doubt, I know that I will continue ( I just ordered food) on my journey. I would just prefer not to have the doubts :)

Today I took the girls to meet my parents at a park half way between our houses. We had a nice picnic. The weather was great. But...I found myself wanting everything that they were having. And usually that isnt the case. Usually I just have my bar or pretzels or whatever it is that I am in the mood for and dont even give it much thought. But today I really wanted the peanut buter and jelly sandwich, and the chips, the macaroni salad, and even the strawberries. The girls were picking at their sandwiches and all I could think was, "what I wouldnt do for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich". I dont usually make PB & J sandwiches and it has never been something that I craved, or enjoyed much for that matter. Yet today, I wanted it...bad. I sniffed. And sniffed again. And it smelled good. I had packed a few pickles for me so that I could have a little snack along with my meal. That did help some.

Then when I got home I didnt really have a plan for dinner. Usually I plan ahead and if I dont there is usually some lettuce in the fridge and I make a nice chicken salad out of it and I am happy. But today, no plan :( And there was only a tiny bit of lettuce left. I got a little cranky and after rummaging through the fridge and freezer I decided eggs it would have to be. So I had some scrambled eggs and luckily I had some frozen broccoli and cauliflower in there. But an hour later...I WAS HUNGRY AGAIN. What is going on?????

Despite the tough day with these random cravings I stayed on plan. A little cranky, yes, but I stayed on plan :) I find myself wondering though... do other people who are on Medifast for a while (I have been on 11 weeks now) still wish their meals were bigger? I wish the bars were bigger, and I wish there were more pretzels and so on. Is this normal? I think my body is satisfied with the food I am putting in since usually I am not hungry. But I worry that my mind is still where it used to be. The food tastes good so I want more. And even if I werent hungry would I eat more because it tastes so good? The old me would. So would this new me do the same or will I know when enough is enough when I am not on Medifast and eating a prepackaged amount? These are all things I am trying to work through to prepare myself.

Today's reason for losing weight:
When I looked into the glass while standing outside tonight I saw something different than I have been seeing. I didnt see my 53 lbs loss or feel my accomplishments. Instead I saw that I still have a ways to go. I saw a lot of "fluff". And it was good for me to see the areas that need improvement because it keeps my motivation going. But of course I am still hoping it was the shorts(which are big even though I just bought them) or a distorted image in the glass :) It made me realize that I much prefer to feel proud when I look in the mirror!!! I will reevaulute tomorrow!

Today I am thankful for:
This beautiful weather. It doesnt get much better than sunny, 70 degrees, no humidity with a nice little breeze.

Week 11 (Tricia)

Today was the end of week 11 for me. I am expecting my food to arrive this evening and I can't wait. I am only down 1 pound since last week, but I am really not that disappointed about it. I had a large drop last week and if I combine the two, its a total of almost 6 pounds. Not too shabby. Also, I realized this morning that I am only 9 pounds away from making my mini-goal of 50 pounds, and only 60 pounds away from my 100 pound medifast goal. This morning I also realized that I am a size smaller than I was on my wedding day, which was 6 years ago! I am happy to know that I only have a few more months on Medifast and I can transition onto WW.
I am slightly nervous about the transition back to regular food, like Jennifer. The reason for my success, I believe, is the structure of the diet and no option for cheating. The thought of having to be more responsible and accountable to myself is a little frightening. But, I have a little more time to start talking myself into that step. Also---Jennifer please read----By the time I am ready for WW, I will have decreased my stomach capacity and probably won't be as hungry. So instead of starting the WW diet right away and still being hungry after eating all of my points, I am hoping that the treat of actually eating food will be enough for me and I won't be hungry once I eat my points for the day. Ya know, like a normal person. I recently decided to remove my lunchtime Medifast meal and replace it with a small salad. It is around the same calories as my medifast meal and I am eating low-carb veggies. By cutting down on that one meal will help me save some extra money so I can continue on the plan longer too. So far, it has not changed my weight loss.

My reason for losing weight today is: To look the way I did when my husband and I first met 12 years ago.

Gardening (Jennifer)

I have discovered over the past few years that I love gardening. I have been doing a lot of it lately and I am surprised that I am sore the next day! Who knew all that bending and leaning and up and down and up and down could actually be...exercise? And this year I am enjoying it even more than previous years. And then I realized why. I am not in my own way. People who arent obese probably dont know what I am talking about. Let me explain. When I was 226 lb I considered myself lazy. I felt like I was always in my own way. I was in my way when bending over to tie my shoes, gardening, playing with the girls, cleaning a closet, folding laundry, in my way when trying to do just about anything that involved MOVING around. It made most things seem like tasks instead of enjoyable things. And I have say that it kind of feels like a luxury NOT having to be in my own way. I realize now that I used to avoid doing a lot of things because it just wasnt comfortable. And that added to the laziness. When I look back it makes me realize that I never want to go back there again. I have lots more to lose and I am certainly not thin, but it is just one of those "little things" that isnt really so little. It is a change in the quality of my life. It is a mini success.

Today's reason for losing weight:
I cant wait to see what other mini successes and other improvements in my quality of life are waiting for me just around the corner as I lose more weight.

Today I am thankful for:
Lowe's. They had so many plants on the clearance rack and that made it possible for me to get lots(2 trips actually). I have no problem giving a little extra love to some plants in need to bring them back to their full potential. And thanks to my mom for chipping into the "Jennifer loves to garden" fund :) I just love my mom :)

Week 11 results (Jennifer)

Another 1.5 lbs down. Today's weight: 173.5. And something was different. Those weeks that I lost one or two pounds and I was having little pity parties....well, not this time. I was happy with my 1.5 loss. Not just because it is "that time" for me but because I realized that lots of people have plateaus or even gain after being on track all week. And so I have this outlook lately that a loss is a loss and every week to this point my weight has gone down. And for that I consider myself lucky, and grateful. I am down 33 lbs with medifast for a total of 53 lbs total from my highest weight. And that makes me proud.

Today I joined the gym. I met my friend Karen and we went and signed me up. She gave me the tour since she is already a member. And I am going to go next week to meet with my personal trainer. I feel great being able to do something to tone things up a bit. And believe me...there is a lot of toning needed.

Tonight Karen and I went to dinner. It was so nice. I had a nice salad and some mini turkey burgers(no buns of course). I think that I am changing though. I am noticing the salt in things, and the grease and so on. The turkey burgers were so salty and greasy that I actually wrapped them in the napkin in an attempt to maybe take some off. I realized at that moment that I really must be changing. That I loved the broccoli that came with the burgers and that I didnt enjoy the salt and grease that it was bathed in. Wow...it must be one of those change of habit things I hear about. Did I still want the desert on the menu on the table? Absoultely(even after I ate my whole meal and was full), but I stayed strong(and thank you to Karen who turned the ad for the desert backwards so I didnt have to see it anymore). My sweet tooth is one of those things that I dont ever think will change. But in the end it is all about being able to have the self control to limit those things. And that strength is exactly what I hope to gain.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*So when I am gardening out front and a car drives by I dont have to wonder if my shirt is riding up my back and my love handles are hanging out. At least if a little skin is showing (and only because I am bending over would this happen) it wont have to be such a disgusting sight. Come on....you all know just what I am talking about. Maybe not in the same situation but you know when you go to Walmart sometimes and there is a really big guy walking around with his belly hanging out. People judge, and I dont want to be judged.

Today I am thankful for:
*a slightly warmer/pleasant day. I was able to sit outside for a few minutes while the girls were sleeping. It was so peaceful and for a change I wasnt even freezing. And later I even managed to plant some plants my mom bought me for mothers day. My husband was with the girls and I had a little enjoyable "me time" today.

Nerves (Jennifer)

I knew this "I am on top of the world" feeling couldnt last forever. I am no good at dealing with stress. If there as one thing I could change about me it would probably be my worrying. I dont think it is excessive and I am not on meds or anything like that but still, I dont like it. I have been getting this rash every time I go in the sun for even a few minutes (remember Trish??). Well, finally I had enough and went to the dr. While I was there today, they did a mole check since my grandmother had melanoma. Well, she didnt seem too phased by the rash(which is why I went) but felt that a few small moles on my stomach looked abnormal and she wanted to remove them right away. So....she did and now I have two whole weeks of waiting and worrying before I get some results. I hate the waiting game. I have had too much of it over the past few years in my opinion.

I was starting to feel like a "normal" person lately and maybe even feeling like DRAMA was doing me a favor and moving its cloud away from me. Anyone who knows me knows that a drama cloud has been following me around for years. But recently I have been enjoying the freedom from that and trying to lay low and feel...NORMAL. I will say this though. In the past I may have dealt with my stress by eating. Not this time. This time I am going to remain in control of what I am putting in. Tonight when I was putting on my jammies I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror. And I thought..."wow". I really am getting there. I really saw it tonight. Despite the three bandages on my stomach I actually was pleased with what I saw and what I have accomplished so far. I am not really a "pat myself on the back" kind of person so this was a big step for me. And at that very moment when I saw myself in the mirror I thought "THIS is why I am sticking with Medifast for a bit longer". I feel like I have been looking for something to sway me one way or another for whether I should stay on or go off. And there it was.

So...regardless of what the scale shows tomorrow (it is that time for me so I dont expect exciting things) I will be happy with my decision and keep trucking on.

Today's reason for losing weight:
When I go horse back riding (we do sometimes in the summer) I dont want to feel like people(the owners especialy) are looking at me or feel like they gave me "the big horse". The big horse for the big girl.

Today I am thankful for:
Medifast Peanut Butter Crunch bars. These bars are so good and I feel guilty eating them. I have to say that there has never been a time in my almost 11 weeks on MF that this bar has not satisfied my demanding sweet tooth. Yummmmm.

Stay tuned for my week 11 weigh in tomorrow!

Jennifer

Cold (Jennifer)

I am cold. I am cold most of the time these days. My hands are like ice. Is it better than sweating profusely? Definately. My husband says it is because I am losing weight and my body is not used to it yet. And he whines when I untuck his shirt to put my freezing ice cold hands on his warm stomach. He may pout and whine but he always "lets me in". hehe. I think he knows the alternative is to turn on the heat. He always seems to be warm.

When I was heavier and my little girl was "sick" I seemed to be sweating all the time. Like hot flashes almost. At first I thought it was all hormonal because I had just had a baby. Then I thought it was from all the stress of her illnesses. But the sweating kept on even through the winter, and after she got better. And last summer was a nightmare. We bought our house with no A/C and no windows to install one ourselves. I spent most of last summer sweating and sticky and just plain miserable. I remember watching the weather every day praying it wouldnt be so hot. But something is different now. While it is pretty cool out now, we have had a few hot days here so far this year. And although I was hot and sticky, I was NOT miserable. I was NOT uncomfortable just moving around, or existing for that matter. My clothes were not sticking to me. Is this how "normal" people react to the heat? Am I becoming normal? Or is it just that my body has now gotten used to being cold all of the time? And a little heat is not as awful as it used to seem. Either way, I will take it! I would rather be cold and put on a blanket or the heat than to feel like I did last summer. Please dont be mistaken...we will still be getting central air next month :) I know I have said it in past posts, but even I know that I was not very "sweet" last summer :)

Today's reason for losing weight:
* I like this feeling that I have right now. I still have more weight to go but I feel good about me. It is great to feel good about me instead of always having that chip(my weight) on my shoulders.

Today I am thankful for:
* being able to look back on the stress we endured when our little girl was sick. I wondered if there would ever be a day when all was okay and be able to look back on it as a thing of the past. I wondered if there would ever be a time to look back and pull some sort of positive out of it. And I have. Thank you to those of you who helped me (us) through it. And of course, thanks to God. He showed me that I am stronger than I thought I was, even if it did take a toll on me.

I am scared (Jennifer)

I decided to post tonight about some of the feelings and thoughts I have been having over the past few weeks. As I have mentioned before I have been thinking about how much longer I will be doing Medifast for. And my thoughts and feelings are all over the place when it comes to this topic. They range from one end of the spectrum to the other. So here it goes (and I sure could use some outside thought on this one...):

Part of me wants to come off of MF...to eat REAL food and exercise and so on. And maybe to even follow WW guidelines which after 10 years are pretty much embedded in my head :) However, I am surprised by the fear of coming off of MF. Actually, after much thinking over the past few weeks I have decided that I am petrified to come off of it. Why? I sat down with my husband last night and we talked about it. And this is what we came up with. MF is rigid. And it has worked even though at some times it has worked slower than I would have like it to. But anyway, it has worked. I am down 31.5 lbs from MF in 10 weeks. It is structured, almost effortless. I eat 5 of their meals and I havent gone off plan once. I am scared to eat real food now. I am scared to alter the protein, the fat, carbs, etc that is carefully measured out for me in each MF meal. I am scared to stress over each meal. I am scared to gain some weight back and then fall off the wagon and go back to square one. I like to think I wont but I am still scared. I am scared that my willpower to say no to the things that were not allowed on MF. Will I be able to say no the cake, or the cookies, or the kids leftovers? To MCDONALDS? These are all things that arent allowed on MF's structured plan so I dont have any issue with passing them up. But will I still consider them No No foods when I am done with MF? Will I still have the control that I have now? There isnt much gray area on MF. It is pretty black and white. But eating in the real world seems so much more complicated and stressful to me and this is where my fear comes in.

There are lots of things I am trying to work out right now to ensure that I do the best thing for my long term success. I have discussed it with my husband and we decided that I am going to do MF for at least one more month. He has been very supportive of me and would be no matter what I chose to do. I am ordering my food tomorrow. I still have over 30 lbs to lose and when it comes down to it why mess with what is working(even if it is working slowly at times)? Another month will give me time to think more about how I will manage when I come off. Of course MF gives you a transition guide which is great. And this makes me think why do I want to transition NOW when I still have more to lose. I dont want to transition and maintain or gain. That would defeat my purpose. So I am committed to one more month. And part of me is relieved. But part of me tells me I will be fine when I done. That I should transition into the healthy ways of WW and merge what I have learned there with what I have learned from MF(to eat 6 times a day, eat more protein, drink my water).

So that's where I am at. I am at 175 as of my last weigh in. Why not keep going with what is working. Period. Lets just hope it keeps working. This week I exercised twice. I walked/jogged yesterday and tonight was zumba which was fun as always.

Today's reason to lose weight:
*My health. Its one thing to want to look and feel good. But it is another thing to take care of my body and all the "parts" that need to work together to make me a healthy person. I dont want to have a fatty liver anymore. I dont want high cholesterol, and I dont want a ticker that has to work overtime to carry the extra weight. I want a healthy digestive and immune system that come from eating good foods. And these are things that I can do for myself with a little knowledge.

Today I am thankful for:
*My girls. Yesterday my 3 year old saw me with my towel wrapped around me after my shower and didnt she tell me that I looked like Barbie Island Princess(we own the movie). Too sweet. And my two year old who came up to me today and threw her arms around me and told me she loved me...just out of the blue. It is moments like these that melt my heart. And one more thing that made me chuckle. Today my 3 year old came to me and asked me to fix her hair. Daddy had put a ponytail in like she asked him to and she told me "he didnt do too good". So I said sure and I explained that there are some things that mommy is better at(you should see some of these hairdo attempts although I give him full props for being such an awesome dad to even try) and that there are other things that daddy is better at doing. I asked her what Daddy was better at doing and she said "going to work". I am a stay at home mommy :) Gotta love the thoughts of a 3 year old.

Early (teresa)

I weighed in a day early because my mother being the awesome mom she is made me my favorite dinner (eggplant) for mother's day. I lost 1 pound this week, and I am happy. I only went to the gym once and I did not write down points. This week my plan is to write down points and to hit the gym at least 2x's and then take Shea on some wagon rides. The weeks I did wagon rides I was losing between 2-4 lbs a week. I think it is because it ends up being weights and carido! Not to mention Shea will ask for "more" every time I try to stop and we end up being out there for hours! I am now 5 pounds away from my mini goal and 39 pounds from my end goal. That seems very doable!!!! Today I looked at my butt (naked) in the mirror and I noticed how much less bumpy my skin looked...that was super exciting! Gross but exciting! I would really like to lose 8 pounds this month. That would put me over my mini goal by June. I wanted to wear a bikini this summer but that probably wont happen, I will spare everyone that pain! I keep thinking it could have if I stayed on Medifast...oh well. That was too hard because of the whole meat thing. I am going to step it up with fruits and veggies and kick my rear into gear with the exercise. I know I can do better and I will! Happy Mother's Day !!!!

What I am thankful for:
The opportunity to be a mother
My mother
My friends who are helping me be a healthier me!

I felt good! (Jennifer)

Since weigh in on Thursday I have had the frumpy feeling again. I think that I have been doing pretty well but since I have not measured anything out I dont feel 100% confident like usual. Today is Mothers day(my parents were in town) and I had a little piece of bacon with everyone's breakfast this morning. It was very yummy. I figured no carbs and very few calories (it was the precooked kind) so I went for it. But I felt like a cheater. Then we went to lunch with my inlaws today. That was nice. We went to Denny's which is a "hard one" for me because I love so many of the greasy fried foods there. The girls got some pancake puppies that I was drooling over. I had some of my mother in laws meat omelet and I ordered a grilled chicken salad. Usually the salads at any restaurant dont have anywhere close to 6 oz of chicken so I also ordered a scrambled egg on the side to complete my protein. And I was glad I did. There wasnt much chicken on it. I got my dressing on the side and dunked. It was good. But again...not a mesured amount so I dont feel 100% confident. I guess I should give myself a break because it isnt like I had something that was totally off plan...like a Wegmans sub, or real pizza, or a MCdonalds cheeseburger and fries...I am sure you are getting the point. I have made plenty of cookies and cakes and mufins and so on and have remained stronger than I thought I ever could. I should take pride in that, right??????

Last night this "wind" came over me. I was playing with the kids and had so much energy! The girls were just loving this side of mommy. I mean, I play with them all the time but I was literally RUNNING around the house as we were chasing each other. I had so much fun and then it hit me. I was out of breath like maybe most people would be(?) but it was not an exhausted, uncomfortable, "I have to sit down" kind of feeling. I had forgotten there was such a thing! Yaaaay me! And I was again reminded of this today. I took the dog for a walk and decided to jog back. Usually by the half way point I am praying to see the sight of my house. But not today. I was just going. Jogging. One step. Another step. Listening to my music. And then it dawned on me. I am not tired! I am not praying to see my house. I am just "doing this". Like it was an enjoyable thing. BECAUSE IT WAS!!!! OMG!!! Who am I? Me???? I am ENJOYING my jog. I havent jogged in a while so I expected just the opposite. A tired me. But no. The tired, praying to see my house Jen was not there. I really like this Jen. I thought it was a little odd over the last few weeks that I thought I was actually missing my jogs. That would just be a foreign thought that I, Jennifer, could possibly miss any form of exercise. But I did, and my jog was totally enjoyable today. And...on a side note... Sugar is now on "weight control" food and let the record show that she kept up with me today :) However, I will mention that is is already in bed. haha.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to experience other things that I may find enjoyable but never knew it at a heavier weight. So far jogging and zumba are things that I NEVER thought would ever be "my thing". I like this new self discovery thing I have going on...providing it reveals good stuff of course :)

Today I am grateful for:
*my mother. My mother is possibly the best mother in the world. I really do feel that way. She is so supportive and always there for me no matter what.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms out there! Enjoy your day!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's day to my cousin Jennifer and Teresa, and all of the mommies out there!

Sorry... (Tricia)

Sorry everyone! It has been awhile since I last blogged, busy week! My week 10 weigh-in went well and I am down another 4.8lbs. I hit my 40 mark, just 10 more away from my mini goal of 50! YAY! To celebrate this weeks loss, I went shopping with my friend Nicole, originally to find some new sandals. Well, we didn't quite make it to the shoe store, but we went to a few different clothing stores. I wasn't finding anything that fit the way I would like it so I asked Nicole if we could go to Old Navy, a favorite place of mine, long before they carried plus-sized clothes. Even when they offered the plus sizes, they always ran a little small and I didn't like how they fit. But, we decided to give it a whirl. There we were, two large ladies cramped into the dressing room, meant for maybe one average-sized man, trying to maneuver around each other and trying on clothes. Surprisingly, I walked out with two pairs of jeans and five tops. To add to that, some of the tops were too big in the XXL and I had to go down to an XL. AN XL. I know that doesn't sound like much to a normal person, but for me that was incredible. I couldn't contain myself walking out of the store with my Old Navy bag with a huge smile on my face as we walked through the mall. It was like saying to everyone we passed, yeah, I can fit into their clothes.
This was such a treat for me seeing how the last time I went shopping I still wasn't out of the size I started in, but I skipped a whole size jeans and I am now two whole sizes smaller. Ahh...the pleasure that brought me. I am really motivated to keep going and to get out of the plus sizes and into a size that is healthy for me and a size that I am happy with. As my friend Brooke said last weekend, " I want to go into a store and not have to worry if they carry my size or have a plus section." Well, ladies, we are on our way there!

I am okay with it.... (Teresa)

So I weighed in on Monday and I was only down 1/2 a pound...but I am okay with it. You see The weather was really nice last week and I lost focus. I was not writing down points, I skipped the gym and over the weekend I went to my favorite fast food restaurant. I will say that I was really scared to get on the scale but I got on. I guess the loss was good because in reality even though I was not writing down what I was eating to a certain extent I must have been thinking about what I was putting in my mouth. Had I gone all out and just had whatever I wanted whenever I wanted I definitely would have gained. On Sunday I went to Applebee's and although I wanted fries I ordered a salad, mainly because the day before Shea and I went to Gene's (which just opened for the summer!!!) and I had a grilled cheese and french fries. Now usually I would think that eating bad on Saturday gave me the right to continue to eat bad on Sunday...not this time! I got right back on track. This is big for me. Being down the 1/2 pound this week put me closer to my first mini goal (which I just made!). I need to lose 6 more pounds to weigh what I did before I got pregnant for Shea. I have not decided yet what my next mini goal will be but I am thinking 20 pounds because that will bring me back to my old steady weight. But I am not going to stop there cause after that I want to lose 11 more which will bring me back to what I was on my wedding day.....and I must say I did look good!

Week 10 (Jennifer)

I got on the scale this morning and it said the same as it did on my early weigh in on Tuesday. 175. Minus 3 lbs for the week. And I am very happy with that. I think in high school I weighed around 170ish but I dont remember being as big as I am now. Of course my whole body figure is different after having gotten so big, having two babies in 15 months, two c-sections, my gallbladder surgery and so on...I guess things were bound to change.

Yesterday I pulled up the BMI chart. I was a little shocked that I had to search several times for one that had my previous weight of 226.5 on it. I guess I knew I was heavy but I never thought that I was big enough that I was off the charts...literally. Anyway...I think the results were that I had a BMI of about 39 at my heaviest and I am now at 30. I think it is great that I have dropped 9 pts in BMI. However, I was again surprised that I am still considered OBESE. Wow...that was a bit shocking for me. I know I am still heavy but obese? When I get to a BMI of 29 I am considered OVERWEIGHT instead of OBESE and at 24 I will be considered at the high end of healthy. What weight is a BMI of 24 at my height? 145 pounds. That is exactly 30 lbs from where I am today. Do I think I can do it? I sure hope so!!! I am going to keep trucking along. According to the BMI chart a healthy weight for my height is 110-145 lbs. I think 145 may be achievable but I cant ever see myself at 110 lbs. I think that is much to small for my frame and my "top heaviness". so at this point I am going to set my ULTIMATE GOAL at 140 lbs. 35 more pounds from where I am today. Until this point I wasnt sure what my end goal should be. But now that I a little smaller I feel that I can make a little better of a judgement.

Today's reason for losing weight:
*to be at a healthy BMI.

What I am thankful for today: (this is a new segment I found on a blog I read and I really like it. Why not add a piece of positivity every day?)
*today I am thankful that my husband FINALLY fixed my vacuum(that he swore there was nothing wrong with for several weeks). Hey...when you are a stay at home mom these things are a big deal :)

Have a good day everyone.

Jennifer

MIA (Jennifer)

I know it has been a while since I have posted. It has been a crazy several days. When Trish called me yesterday to see what the deal was and I explained how busy I have been even she said "wow...you have been busy". To keep things brief, I went out of town to visit the fam, had a nice time, came back into town, went to Zumba(lost my money for the class, emptied my whole purse in front of everyone twice, found my money, and then sweat like a pig at zumba since I was all worked up before I even went in!),found a car we wanted online, went back out of town (the other way) to test drive and negotiate, came back to town, did all the legwork for that and now have to go back out of town today to pick it up(assuming the FexEx guy comes at a reasonable time). And in the midst of all of this we brought the kids to the bounce house, McDonalds playhouse, and even did a little grocery shopping.

I had a nice time at my moms this weekend. I stayed focused and even yesterday at McDonalds when everyone was eating my favorite foods and I pulled out my bar I realized something. This has become the norm for me. It is no longer me feeling deprived. Instead it is something that I have accepted. In most ways MF is so easy and so calculated. And I get nervous thinking about how I will do when I am no longer on MF and have to make my own choices. I have been asking myselg a lot lately how much longer I will be doing MF. I was a little discouraged by my one pound loss last week. I actually thought to myself "$75 this week to lose one pound". There is a great offer to a gym that I want to go to where I live that my friend Karen told me about. The offer expires soon. But I am hesitant to join when on Medifast since I am supposed to not exercise much since that seems to slow the loss in my case. And like I have said before it is quite a mental block for me to accept a lack of exercise with weight loss. For me the two go hand in hand. So yesterday I got on the scale early. Two days early. I dont really ever do this. But after my one pound loss I was thinking that if there wasnt a loss that I would consider transitioning off of Medifast and pick up the exercise. But when I got on the scale I saw 3 lbs down since my last weigh in 5 days before! My weight: 175. That is 51.5 lbs for me total and 31.5 of that is from Medifast. So then I decided maybe I should hold off for a little while and just continue on with MF and get some more weight off (hopefully). So that is what I will do. As for the gym...I will probably still join so I get the great rate and then it will be ready for me when I do decide to transition off MF. But I have learned this...the weeks that I drink more soda adn exercise less I seem to lose the most weight. I am sure some of this is coincidence but still... I have learned to keep the exercise to a minimum and hope for good results :)

Today's reason for losing weight:
*So when I meet people for the first time I am not embarassed at how I look.

AHHH,The weekend! (Tricia)

Boy, was I on a roll this weekend! Nate and I saw a movie on Friday night. And, I have to say that I noticed I wasn't so smushed in the seat! Now if only I can get to the point where I can stop invading my neighbors space with my arms...
On Saturday I cleaned the house, did the laundry, and had a movie night in my jammies with my friend Brooke. I introduced her to the Cauliflower pizza and she loved it. She is doing WW and is down 20lbs I think and I can't be happier for her. I think she figured out that the pizza is like, 4 points! Thats crazy! Today I finished the laundry, did some putzing around the house, clipped the dog down a little, made out the bills and enjoyed the evening. What a great weekend!

Tonight I decided to go through some of the clothes that Jennifer gave me that were too big for her. Last month when I went through them, nothing fit. But, it figured that was ok, she was giving me clothes that were two sizes down from what I was at. Well, this time, I was able to fit into 3 pairs of pants and a skirt. They are a little snug, but I figure in a week or two they will fit just fine. It was a little boost I needed to show myself that I really am losing weight. There is a difference between feeling that your pants are too big and then the pride you feel when you can get into clothes that didn't fit you before. I am so excited to get into the rest of them!
I just keep thinking about how I got so large to begin with and having to go to the store to buy clothes gradually because I was getting bigger and bigger. And the sadder I became as that number kept going up. But, now I am proud to be getting back into the sizes that I was so angry with myself for being in. I am moving in the right direction and hope I can continue going in that direction. It is a constant struggle for me.

This morning I woke up and contemplated eating some cookies. But, I had to wait until Nate left the house so he wouldn't see me. Now, I am not a closet eater, but I knew if he saw me he would be so disappointed. I thought about those cookies for a good hour. I just wanted one, but I knew that one might lead to 5...or 10. So, when I heard the door close this morning behind Nate, I got up...and just started to keep myself busy and soon I wasn't thinking of those cookies. And I had totally forgot about them until I opened the pantry for my last meal tonight and saw them. But, I pulled out my pudding and closed the door. And that was that. I am proud of myself every day that I say no.

My reason for weight loss today is to be able to eat a meal with out over eating or feeling embarrassed about what I am eating.

A crazy week (Teresa)

I do not have any results to post because I weigh in on Mondays.....however I figured I should blog a bit to help me stay on track. With the warm weather and sunshine I tend to lose focus. I become more carefree which as we know is a BAD thing to do on WW. I usually do not like to eat a lot when it is hot so I end up grabbing something here and there when I hear a grumble but usually when you "grab" something it is quick and easy which usually = bad. Anyway my week has been very exhausting. I have been thinking about my life and where I am and where I am going. This weight loss journey we are on has made me a different person. This is the first time in a long time that I have been serious about losing weight. I always say I am going to and then start the journey but I usually take a wrong turn and keep going rather than getting back on the right track. Not this time. I am going to follow through. I am 30 now.....I'm not a kid, I'm not in my twenties...I'm.....old. Too old to mess around at least. I need to focus and do what is best for me. I have so many changes that need to be made to make me a healthier person inside and outside. I have a child. I want to be around to see his children and God willing their children. I gotta tell you it feels so good to be down 20 lbs....it took a while but I actually feel it in my body. I can work out better at the gym, I can walk up my back hill without dying, my knees feel better....not great but better, I can walk up the stairs at work several times without feeling winded and I can play with my son for hours. I cannot wait to feel what -40 feels like!

My reason for losing weight- I want to do all the things I love again.