Tough day (Jennifer)

Today was a frustrating one for me. I was hungry for most of the day and found myself waiting for my next meal just about all day. Luckily, this doesnt happen too often. But when it does it is hard. I am not sure what brings on these days but if I did I would surely change whatever it is! The problem is this...with my hunger also comes those feelings of doubt I have been talking about lately. Not really the doubt of Medifast and whether it works (because I know it does) but the doubt in ME to continue. But even with the doubt, I know that I will continue ( I just ordered food) on my journey. I would just prefer not to have the doubts :)

Today I took the girls to meet my parents at a park half way between our houses. We had a nice picnic. The weather was great. But...I found myself wanting everything that they were having. And usually that isnt the case. Usually I just have my bar or pretzels or whatever it is that I am in the mood for and dont even give it much thought. But today I really wanted the peanut buter and jelly sandwich, and the chips, the macaroni salad, and even the strawberries. The girls were picking at their sandwiches and all I could think was, "what I wouldnt do for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich". I dont usually make PB & J sandwiches and it has never been something that I craved, or enjoyed much for that matter. Yet today, I wanted it...bad. I sniffed. And sniffed again. And it smelled good. I had packed a few pickles for me so that I could have a little snack along with my meal. That did help some.

Then when I got home I didnt really have a plan for dinner. Usually I plan ahead and if I dont there is usually some lettuce in the fridge and I make a nice chicken salad out of it and I am happy. But today, no plan :( And there was only a tiny bit of lettuce left. I got a little cranky and after rummaging through the fridge and freezer I decided eggs it would have to be. So I had some scrambled eggs and luckily I had some frozen broccoli and cauliflower in there. But an hour later...I WAS HUNGRY AGAIN. What is going on?????

Despite the tough day with these random cravings I stayed on plan. A little cranky, yes, but I stayed on plan :) I find myself wondering though... do other people who are on Medifast for a while (I have been on 11 weeks now) still wish their meals were bigger? I wish the bars were bigger, and I wish there were more pretzels and so on. Is this normal? I think my body is satisfied with the food I am putting in since usually I am not hungry. But I worry that my mind is still where it used to be. The food tastes good so I want more. And even if I werent hungry would I eat more because it tastes so good? The old me would. So would this new me do the same or will I know when enough is enough when I am not on Medifast and eating a prepackaged amount? These are all things I am trying to work through to prepare myself.

Today's reason for losing weight:
When I looked into the glass while standing outside tonight I saw something different than I have been seeing. I didnt see my 53 lbs loss or feel my accomplishments. Instead I saw that I still have a ways to go. I saw a lot of "fluff". And it was good for me to see the areas that need improvement because it keeps my motivation going. But of course I am still hoping it was the shorts(which are big even though I just bought them) or a distorted image in the glass :) It made me realize that I much prefer to feel proud when I look in the mirror!!! I will reevaulute tomorrow!

Today I am thankful for:
This beautiful weather. It doesnt get much better than sunny, 70 degrees, no humidity with a nice little breeze.