Tuesday, May 25, 2010

WHEW! (Tricia)

Well people, its 93 in upstate NY and humid. Summer is back a little early this year. And I am just going to put it out there..I hate the heat. Really, the humidity on top of the heat. My little feet swell up and I get cranky because I am a human radiator. My face gets red, I sweat like a piglet ( I say piglet because they are cuter, however, there is nothing cute about Tricia in the heat), and I radiate the heat off of my body. And like Jennifer, the bigger I got the more I hated the heat. The sweating, the sticking, the constant urge to hose yourself down in the front yard. (If I was skinny, I would totally do it.) Remember when we were kids and nothing bothered us? We could be out all day in sub-zero weather sledding or ice-skating or out riding our bikes and playing until the sun went down in the scorching heat. How did we ever deal with the high temperatures 30 years ago? We ran through sprinklers. We filled the inflatable kiddy pool and dragged grass and mud into it. We hurled ourselves down slip and slides-or if your parents didn’t have money, a make-shift slip and slide with black trash bags- everyone take a moment and get a mental image of that..now giggle. And, if it was a weekend, we occasionally got to go to the town park and share the pool with 3000 other people..and their pee (you know you totally did it). When the heck did we grow out of that? Oh...right, with the creation of central air. Or rather in my case..an air-conditioning unit in every available window. I really have gotten to the point where I like to stay inside when it’s hot. I have gotten accustomed to spending more time inside than out in the summer because of how I feel and more so, how I look. All of the women out there in their cute little tops and their shorts make me feel so self conscious and jealous. I feel like a stay-puff marshmallow woman trying to keep all of her fat into the clothes I have on. I feel anxious that because of the heat, I have to remove my winter clothes from my closet. Those clothes that keep my swinging arm fat secure under long sleeve sweaters, those pants that hide my thigh dimples, and the layers that I convince myself hide my rolls. Not to mention the dread I feel when I hear on the news that the weather is getting warmer, praying to the summer Gods that SOMETHING still fits me from last year. And God forbid a bathing suit! And, on the first nice weekend of the year, I pull out my shorts, and maybe a tee and look at myself in the mirror with disgust. UGH! Did I look that way last year? Well, I guess a nice day of sitting on the couch so no one can see me is in order. I have come accustomed to reflecting on the activities that I won’t do because of my size or embarrassment, that I really have left nothing for myself to enjoy. No walks on a summer evening, no water or amusement parks, no picnics at Thatcher park, not even sitting outside at my patio set under the umbrella sipping lemonade and reading a good book. Nope, instead I plop on the couch.
I do have a point to this and it is not just that I am having a pity party or being a Debby Downer. I have decided that I need a new hobby. A hobby that I can do outdoors this summer and one that I enjoy doing. Now the trick is just to find one…So, I am putting a question out there to all of our followers-What is a good summer activity that is fun and will keep me outside and interested?

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Lots to say...where to start?
1) "Tricia in heat"...hahaha. You so should have put that differently!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAA. sorry, moving on now...HAHAHAH. okay, really this time.
2) I totally agree with you about summer and putting on the clothes that wont fit and will expose your fat and rolls. however...Have you done it yet this year? You are down 40+ lbs and I bet you get a great surprise when you try on clothes and they dont fit...because they are too big.
Go shopping. You deserve it. Busy this weekend? Road trip? We can go shopping! Just us girls?!
3)It gets better. I am sure you have read my posts about the heat and how it seems to be affecting me differently today. I still dont like it but it is not causing me to stay inside, or to be miserable. Maybe there is less fat to be sticky...I dont know. In fact, I am sitting on the deck right now with "Shug" plunking in the keys.
4) For your outside hobby...make sure it something you love. How much time do you want to spend doing it? I love to garden. and now that most of my stuff is in the ground I enjoy taking care of it every day. Get a bird feeder and take care of that. i have regular ones and also a hummingbird feeder and I totally love my "clientele". Or maybe just take a walk. Get up off the couch and take a walk. It will get you energized and burn calories even if it is leisurely. Use your MP3 or Ipod or whatever you have and just get out there. I too am in the process of making some changes. I know that I have a little less than you to lose but I have to tell you that the more weight you lose, the better it gets. Today I wore a gym workout stretchy cotton cllingy shirt out of the house. And while I am still overweight, I see such an improvment from where I was. and you will too as you keep going. Keep on going and you will continue to feel the new you come about, along with all of your changes. I know you can do this.

Tricia said...

1) I made sure I didnt say Tricia in heat...I totally put Tricia in the heat...or else I meant to!
2)I would love a girls shopping weekend, but sadly we are replacing our front walk way and I am hoping to finish it up this weekend.
3) I have to make myself get out side but to do it I really have to find something I like to do. As for gardening, I like to dabble, but I dont have too much experience to know what plants to look for and what I should do etc. Maybe that is something I can learn about and work on!