Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Please bare with me through this post, I think I re-wrote it three times. I am going to try and not go into much detail about my current situation, because its very drawn out and some people, I am sure, are tired of hearing about it. They have to be because I am tired of dealing with it. But, I promise there will be a relevant weight-loss point that follows my story. For the past year and a half I have been dealing with a re-occring problem with my car that the dealership and the manufacturer refuse to fix, even though my car is still under manufacturer's warranty. It recently has come to a head and I am at war with them trying to get a resolution to a car that is unsafe for me to drive. I am at the point now of deciding to proceed with a lawyer and paying a ton of money to fight the big bad corporation, or to shut my mouth and pray I can get a good trade in for a new car. There are a lot of decisions that I never wanted to make and that I am not prepared to make, and its becoming very hard on me. For those of you who don't really know me, I am a planner, a researcher, a weighing of options kind of girl and this situation is not conducive to those traits. The worry, stress and aggravation have consumed my life at this moment, its all I think and talk about. And the repercussions are starting to show their fat little faces. I realized today that the motivation for my diet and self-preservation began to dwindle around the time that this problem became prevalent. I have noticed so many negative feelings and attitudes resurfacing. I am not putting myself first anymore. I am not the priority. I am starting to skip the gym and eat out more again. I am of course still doing my best to stay on plan while out, but really the best thing for my wallet and my body is to make my dinners at home. But after dealing with this problem day after day, its becoming emotionally draining and all I want to do is not deal with it or anything else like worrying about cooking dinner, blogging, or working out. I haven't gone back to all of my bad habits like sitting on the couch all night and eating terrible foods, but I can feel I could if I let it continue and it scares me. I am in a bad place and I am starting to lose sight of me again and I am only seeing the negative. I know I have to snap out of it and focus back on me, but how? I know that we all have problems and worries and I am not trying to blame my failure on the hand that life dealt me. But, it is much easier to focus on ourselves when life is going well. The question is: How do we focus on ourselves when life gets tough? I know this ordeal with my car will be over soon and when I look back on it in 20 years I will probably think of it as just another obstacle that we had to over come but right now it is the main attraction in my three-ring circus and I my weight loss has become the side show.
Posted by Tricia at 8:53 PM