Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Regressing (Tricia)

Please bare with me through this post, I think I re-wrote it three times. I am going to try and not go into much detail about my current situation, because its very drawn out and some people, I am sure, are tired of hearing about it. They have to be because I am tired of dealing with it. But, I promise there will be a relevant weight-loss point that follows my story. For the past year and a half I have been dealing with a re-occring problem with my car that the dealership and the manufacturer refuse to fix, even though my car is still under manufacturer's warranty. It recently has come to a head and I am at war with them trying to get a resolution to a car that is unsafe for me to drive. I am at the point now of deciding to proceed with a lawyer and paying a ton of money to fight the big bad corporation, or to shut my mouth and pray I can get a good trade in for a new car. There are a lot of decisions that I never wanted to make and that I am not prepared to make, and its becoming very hard on me. For those of you who don't really know me, I am a planner, a researcher, a weighing of options kind of girl and this situation is not conducive to those traits. The worry, stress and aggravation have consumed my life at this moment, its all I think and talk about. And the repercussions are starting to show their fat little faces. I realized today that the motivation for my diet and self-preservation began to dwindle around the time that this problem became prevalent. I have noticed so many negative feelings and attitudes resurfacing. I am not putting myself first anymore. I am not the priority. I am starting to skip the gym and eat out more again. I am of course still doing my best to stay on plan while out, but really the best thing for my wallet and my body is to make my dinners at home. But after dealing with this problem day after day, its becoming emotionally draining and all I want to do is not deal with it or anything else like worrying about cooking dinner, blogging, or working out. I haven't gone back to all of my bad habits like sitting on the couch all night and eating terrible foods, but I can feel I could if I let it continue and it scares me. I am in a bad place and I am starting to lose sight of me again and I am only seeing the negative. I know I have to snap out of it and focus back on me, but how? I know that we all have problems and worries and I am not trying to blame my failure on the hand that life dealt me. But, it is much easier to focus on ourselves when life is going well. The question is: How do we focus on ourselves when life gets tough? I know this ordeal with my car will be over soon and when I look back on it in 20 years I will probably think of it as just another obstacle that we had to over come but right now it is the main attraction in my three-ring circus and I my weight loss has become the side show.


Bringing Pretty Back said...

wow! Well said, what a perfect post. I know exactly what you mean. I have also gone back to my old horrible habits! On the couch eating and eating. Why! oh! why! would I do that!
Lets encourage each other! We can do this!

Jennifer said...

Nice honest post Trish. I totally agree with you that when life gets tough the last thing we think about is taking care of ourselves. The perfect example of that (and I know you will understand) is when Em was sick and I was totally stresed. My focus was on her and I totally let myself go. I didnt even recognize myself...mind and body. HOWEVER...hindsight is 20/20 and I now realize that if I had taken a little time for me that I wouldnt have gotten myself into quite a bad spot. Maybe i would have even been better prepared to deal with all my stress. Dont give up on you because you deserve this. No doubt. Dont let the negativity back in. We all have our tough days and that is expected, but this is just another "thing" that will pass. You will look back in a year and it will be a thing of the past. But in a year you will still be YOU. Dont let the big corporation take you down! You have the control to do right by YOU. You wouldnt want this to set you back so that in a year you are back to square one all disappointed. Instead, help yourself and give yourself the fuel to fight back...not just against them but against the weight. You have come so far and deserve this. Take control!!! Full speed ahead girl!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

What helps me is taking time to meditate or pray.. and read my scriptures. It just helps focus me on what my priorities really are. We have totally had to put our priorities in order to even do this weight loss journey... and yet there are major distractions and heartaches that keep coming up. I try to see them for what they are... distractions from what is really important. It isn't easy by any means, but we CAN overcome these trials. Some questions I ask myself are:
Does this bring me closer to God and my family?
Does this help me towards my personal goals?
Does this bring me peace / help me to give love more?

If it doesn't, then it's not worth my time or energy... and I need to work on letting it go.

That may not apply to every situation because sometimes we're forced to deal with unpleasant people or events... but it helps me to make decisions on where I focus my energy... and to put my own health and my family and God first.

I hope you find some resolution and peace from this very hard situation, Trish, because you are worth the time to be kind to yourself! :)


Laura said...

Wow, that's a really tricky situation to be in. I guess for me, over the last 9 months, there have been alot of times where I've stopped putting myself first, and then when I realized it, started finding my motivators again, which get me going again. It's probably not very helpful, because I'd bet you've already tried that, but it really works for me to get back to the original motivations that got me moving in the first place.

I hope things work out. Those car dealerships are a pain in the butt. (I had to take a car in about 5 years ago to get something fixed, and not only did they take a full 7 hours to "fix" it, they wouldn't release my car back to me until I had paid the whole $875 bill. Nasty people some of them.)

John said...

My daughter had a simialar situation with their new car. They faught and faught but got no where. They finally wrote their congress-person and wouldnt you know it, they got it resolved. They also wrote to the manufacturer and it ended well.