Today at work we had a munchies day. It was mostly cold foods : bagels, salad, cookies, soda, etc. It was on the other side of our department so it didn’t really bother me that much. That was, until I went looking for a spoon for my pudding. I walked over to the tables just trying to find something to eat my vanilla pudding with and had to rummage through all the goodness sitting on the table. I was trying to resist the old me and not just stuff something in my mouth. I had little alarms going off in my head screaming “red alert-please back up from the food.” I even had a moment of weakness and thought about picking up the one little cookie left on the platter. But I resisted and stamped off like a 6 year old grumbling “ Isn’t there a SPOON around here?”
I don’t think it would have been so bad if I hadn’t been craving a cheese burger for the last four days. I just keep thinking of a wonderful, juicy, cheesy, bacon and pickle covered patty on a roll with fries and bbq sauce on the side. I have been whining about it for days. My co-workers are ready to kill me. They look at me in that way that says “Shut it and drink your shake!” I just can’t help it. I have been feeling very unsatisfied. Not even my yummy dinners work. I just am looking for someone to tell me its ok for me to cheat and eat it. That’s all I really want, the confirmation from someone, anyone, to say that it won’t be a big deal to eat one, just do it and go back on your diet tomorrow. Sadly, no one has given in to my constant whining. And that’s why I think my friends are great (don’t let me give in, people).
I lived up to my thought yesterday and went for a walk outside with Nay after work today. It was great. I could only do one lap around the parking lot, but its one lap farther than I made yesterday.
My reason for weight loss today?
I can break my constant thought about food.
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3 comments:
I am so proud of you!!! It was a great walk today. Don't give up :o)
Even if someone gives in and tells you its okay to eat that cookie I know you wont. Because in your head you know that your weight loss would come to halt and you would have to wait several days for you to get back into that fat burning stage. And I know that you want this! There are few things that have saved me when I have these unbelievable cravings. Try to find the next best thing to what you are craving. a big fat cheeseburger doesnt seem that far off from what you can have. Have a big fat hamburger with pickles which are allowed. use the amount of ketchup you are allowed and some mustard. my non vegetable eating husband even suggested i get some firm lettuce and wrap it around my burger to be like a bun. And let me tell you...once I picked my chin up off the floor that he had such a great idea I realized that I would actually try this! Also..you need to get a scale. I bet you are jipping yourself in ounces of meat. the lean and green meal rarely leaves me hungry and I LIVE for that meal. The cauliflower pizza has been such a helpful thing for me since I love pizza. i love it and dont feel like I am missing out at all. And as far as french fries...i wonder if you could make them out of cauliflower somehow. I mean...why not? If you can make "pizza crust" and "mashed potatoes" out of them there must be a way. turn your focus to the things you CAN have and stop beating yourself up. The peatnut butter bars seem to fill any need for something sweet which is a great thing. I dont think I could do without them!!! YUMMMM. maybe get some more variety in stock. the puffs are good. I am proud of you for not giving in. You want this and just imagine how you would feel after that few seconds of gratification if you did cheat...you would feel guilty and maybe even lose this wonderful person you have become. DONT EVEN GO THERE!!!
Thanks Nay! It really means a lot. And, I wouln't forget to thank you Jennifer. I know I can do this, I just keep looking at the big picture and wondering when I will be able to eat like a normal person. And then I remember that I never ate like a normal person...soo....
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